PIECE OF SOUL

PRETTY LITTLE LIAR...

2012-02-02T09:36:00.001-08:00

Owh I am one of them, I lie too.
To make you happy, I have to lie my dear friend.

THING THAT I MISS TO DO BUT I CAN’T

2012-02-02T03:15:00.001-08:00

I can’t cry even I want to. Things get more and more complicated, I want to cry but I can’t. No tears come down flowing down my cheeks, I wanna cry really bad, I wanna release this tension, but I can’t. When I sad, angry or disappointed, I will just swallow it, keep it inside... and no tears.

Until I realize that I am actually have no soul. Empty soul. Wuteva. Am I ??? Pathetic lah plak rasa nyer bila takde perasaan ni. At some point, I don’t really care what happen to myself, maybe I will cry when I get my DOCTOR title. For all these years that I struggle, I hope one day I can achieve my dream. I will and I will do it properly, with manners and ethics. Right now, I will swallow all the things that all the shit that our university give to us. I will survive all this crap. Suck it and see.

YOU TALK TO ME LIKE I’M ALREADY DEAD

2012-02-01T03:34:00.001-08:00

Bagi nasihat lah sangat kan... Tahukah anda nasihat anda tu memang tak boleh pakai satu sen pon. Sebab anda dah cakap macam gitu, maka saya pon terpaksa lah memutuskan talian yang sememangnya tak berapa nak ada line nih. OKAY means BYE.

I am lucky because I have them as my GF and a Masuk air one.

Yeah you talk to me like I’m already dead, so let me be dead and I promise, you won’t see me again forever. Even my soul will not try to appear in your heart and mind.

MIXED FEELING

2012-01-06T21:51:00.001-08:00

I don’t know about this, I’m afraid I might be wrong.
I’m just a normal human being, but one thing for sure, I will let it to ALLAH to guide me to choose the right thing.

Your question is too heavy to answer, and your request is too big to accept.

After thinking about it, I make my prayer to HIM, I only can seek HIS help to guide me make my own decision. Big decision in my life.

Here is my answer...

“My heart keep denying, but my mind and my soul can’t accept it. My mind ask me to accept, but my heart keep rejecting, but far from the bottom of my heart, I can’t deny or reject it anymore, she wants me to accept... then should I say YES, I ACCEPT, but at the same time I’m afraid”

Sudah aku istikharah beberapa kali ya ALLAH, tetapi jawapnnya masih belum jelas.

I AM HAPPY

2011-12-15T10:06:00.001-08:00

I will give my answer straight away without any doubt.
Hey you, you know what? I am never, I will never ever regret with all the decision I made. The word REGRET only appear to me if I make a mistake. REGRET if I don’t study like hell then I am not passing my exam or make my father furious or make my mother cry or upset my friend with my bad behavior or become angry of something stupid. So I am not regret with my decision.

And why did you post that SONG on my wall. I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY? Really? Am I HAPPY? Of course I am an that is none of your business if I am happy or not. That was the most ridiculous and pathetic act ever. I am happy as HEAVEN and EXTREMELY HAPPY like hell the moment I break up with you, and I don’t care if you are in relationship with someone, bless her soul, I hope her immature soul can take all the hardship that you cause.

Look here, I am way too busy to play along with your childish game. I am busy as hell here, so I don’t even bother to know more about you. If you don’t post that song on my wall, like hell lah ak nak jenguk FB page kau. SIGH, what a relief.

BITTER

2011-12-01T03:24:00.001-08:00

Kenapa kah bila aku cakap dengan kau, kau buat muka dengan aku?? Kau sakit? Kau PMS? Maybe kita tak geng.

Ikutkan hati aku nih, nak je ak spike kau macam aku spike bola volley tu, lambung tinggi-tinggi bola tu, lompat then BAM!! Sedap woah... naseb baek lah kau manusia wahai kawan dan aku tak seganas tu untuk buat kat anak orang macam tu.

I am not as smart as you, and I apologize if I hurt you with my action, what should I do? I am a human with lots of ego, and I will not crying or whining or telling you what I feel. I
tu rahsia dan aku ortodok.

paperKELIP : Lepas nih aku taw dah, kalo aku marah aku nak lepas kat sape...

I AM STRONG :)

2011-11-30T09:11:00.001-08:00

I am not like you, have a mother to call everyday, or once a week to tell her how your life here, how stress you are with this pack schedule and exam. It is never the same with me. I only can lean on myself, to deal every single problem that I have with only me, and I don’t have a mother to tell her that I am so stress right now, that I want to make this week and next week faster and faster so that I can relax like before.

I just have to be stronger and keep this to myself, I am strong enough, I can deal all the problem, I can handle myself properly because I am not a spoil brat like I use to be anymore.

If I do make a mistake today, and I hurt your feeling, I am sorry, but to tell you why I acted like that, I can’t tell you. I will just keep it to myself. I am not a person who can trust people or to tell my personal feeling to anyone. Today I am just super mad and I am not in a good mood, that all.

INTERNAL FEELING

2011-11-30T00:19:00.001-08:00

I am super duper mad today, I am not mad to you guys, and I know you guys “terasa”. I am mad at my own team, it is not okay if I can’t go practice with them, if it okay, why involve me or ask me to join the team? I am not okay with myself if I can’t go practice and yes I am super busy and super have no time. Yeah aku sangat marah dengan keputusan korang sekarang.

4 SECOND

2011-11-26T09:58:00.001-08:00

It just 4 second of heaven then I am back to normal, my love to JJ is like 5 years, and it never fade away. 4 second, and yes he is not JJ. Sorry but I don’t think 4 second is enough. I maybe like you but not as a man, I like you as a friend (maybe if we are actually a friend). Never cross my mind to love or to falling in love with someone like you. Even if I do, I will deny it like hell. Please take note and get out from my sight, and jangan nak perasan sangat kalau-kalau aku suka kat kamu. It will never happen even, not in million years.

And to you thief, you know what, if I see you again with my sandal, I will never hesitate to BITCHSLAP you and please don’t ask me why. My middle finger for you. Sincerely me. And an F word from me to you, please go to hell.

Sorry for the rudeness, but I can’t tolerate with bunch of stupid teenagers trying to act cool and put their hate toward us, and I don’t even know them.

And to dear you yang suke barang mahal-mahal tapi tak mampu, please save your money from now on if you wanna that thing and please stop bragging about it, annoying tahu tak?

That all for my rant tonight,

FALLING

2011-11-23T09:37:00.001-08:00

I am not suppose to fall again, and I am sure that I’m not going to fall, like 100% sure...

But I made a mistake, a very big mistake... Well I am a human after all. I am just a mere human and probably the most mundane among us. And yes, I am falling... again...

It hurt, and I hate it... Ouchh, owh crap. I think I need to get up, smile and ignore it.

paperKELIP : well ALL THE BEST and GOOD LUCK for next week and next next week GENERASI 08’ ^^

ATTENTION SEEKERs ARTICLE

2011-11-13T05:13:00.001-08:00

I hate it when a author of certain article trying to lure readers to read what he/she wrote. You know what Mr/Miss author, you are very cheap person who is trying to keep your article the most reading and views but you never thought of the consequences kan? Be matured lah bhai.

People call you stupid and that is not for nothing. Yes I am angry right now. What the fuu with the title huh? Aku rasa macam nak tunjal-tunjla je kepala kau tu. Do you know how to read or not??? Are you really desperate to gain a title for the most view article?

Ignorant people like you just pathetic you know that? I wrote this because I know what you stated was not true lah. She definitely said the opposite thing, but why did your title’s article was like that huh?

Aku geram betul then orang attention seeker macam kau nih.

RIGHT NOW!!!

2011-11-01T09:09:00.001-07:00

WELCOME BACK GIRLS... TIME TO SPAZZ!!!

2011-10-30T23:57:00.001-07:00

Still remember when I said I really really love Wonder Girls??? Yeah they are the only girls group that I really love and I am the WONDERFUL!! Bukan tak suke girl group lain, suke je tapi tak gila macam aku gila kat WG ni. Remember I am a Cassiopeia, Hottest and Wonderful kay...

Ok, this November our WG will release their 2nd album which is dah berjenggot aku tunggu, so yeah, Welcome Back Girls!! These are their 2nd photo teaser, hot giler!!!

Owh my Goddess... I hope you guys will make a success comeback. Owh I love how sexy they are but not too revealing. Like Lim, she is a minor, so the stylist make her skirt extra long than her unnies.

Wonderful in action,

REGRET

2011-10-27T02:47:00.001-07:00

Do you have any regret in your? I do... I have many, and that what make me a better human. But unlike those immature souls, I’m only regret the things that I did which make my life now in despair, like not putting Harlequin in cage when I was in Malaysia, or not saving study like real mad to achieve my dream. I will only regret if my action affect me, my family and my friends.

I will not regret if I’ve done a good thing that will bring my life to joy, I will not regret if I know what will happen to may life if I take this or that action. I will not regret it as long as I know what I do and as long as I’m still in the right path.

I know that you too are not regretting for what had you done. I know that was the most difficult decision you made. You know the consequences and you know what will happen to your future and career if you do that. But unlike other souls, you are brave. You did it, and now you are not what you are before. You’ve been banned by them, they throw stones to you, they drop you, they abandoned you. And you don’t give a damn, you keep moving and strong.

You know you have choose a hard path, path with thorns and fog and you can’t see it clearly. But you know, this is the right path. You believe it. When there are haters, there will be lovers too. When you’ve been banned, you make more opportunity, you make more money. When they unfair to you, you still smiling, You are so strong and positive and tough and and and... I don’t know what to say. You are just the way you are, always positive. And you remind me of my late mother.

If someone close the door, someone else will open the window... Remember, no one human has absolute power to rule over other people. Only God has that..and God is kind. I believe in this and I know you believe it too, so that why we don’t regret if we choose thorns path.

I will forever Always Keep The Faith in myself. You are my motivator you are my teacher you are my brothers... You are my happiness. Instead of being sad, why don’t we smile happily.

paperKELIP : Whatever they say, I will always support you guys JYJ. Lets hope your concert in Europe will bring you more opportunity in the future.

KYAAA~ (>.<)

2011-10-26T00:55:00.001-07:00

Now you, please tell me why I have to stop loving
this man, not just loving but I want him!!! :p

*this is JJ’s pics from NII latest photoshot.

Owh man... You can tell me to not love him or to stop loving him
but the truth is

I CAN NOT STOP FROM LOVING THIS GUY!!!

yeah I am delusional girl from another planet, and loving this guy make me happy, at least my heart not hurt like before. Like when I have BF right.

By the way JYJ, all the best for Europe tour! I hope you guys will hold a very successful live kay. Love muchos.

And to TVXQ HoMin, rest well, I love your performance in SMTOWN NYC, thanks ^^

OWH... LALA~

2011-10-25T11:08:00.001-07:00

O.M.G.SUN! I am melting again...

YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE...

2011-10-18T02:14:00.001-07:00

Today, I just read a news about 15 years old girl, post a comment at PM’s FB wall. I don’t care with her post, it is her right to speak her mind regarding her future. But what I disagree is with what people comments. Yes, teruskan PPSMI, kalau tak belajar dalam english nanti kita ketinggalan zaman, bla bla dan bla. Jepun, Korea, Europe country yang study dalam bahasa mading-masing pon aku tengok maju jaya dan ke hadapan je.

Aku tak memihak pada mana-mana badan kerajaan atau bukan kerajaan, Yes english is important, sebab tu ada subjek english kan dalam kelas? Aku rasa english kat malaysia ni dah cukuo bagus kot banding dengan negara lain, terutama... korang pon tahu. Govern pon satu, nak start mansuh PPSMI tu janganlah mendadak, kesian budak-budak nih, dah lah dari darjah satu lagi blaja dalam english Math n Sc, tiba-tiba je dah lepas PMR, masuk tingkatan 4 kena blaja dalam melayu. Mahu nyer diaorang tak mengamuk?

Apa kata rancang dan kaji balik, start dari darjah 1, 4 dan tingkatan 1 tahun depan ke, takde lah pening sangat. Betul tak?

Addek-adek, kalau korang nak tahu, aku dulu lagi pening, tapi maintain tenang je, sebab kita kan nak cari ilmu, dalam whatever bahasa pon confirm kalau niat korang satu, nak cari ilmu, nak pandai, nak belajar, mesti berjaya.

Walaupun tak jadi dokter lagi, tapi sebab banyak sangat dugaan yang generasi kiteorang dapat, sebab nak enjoy life masa muda-mudi ni, halangan bahasa dapat lah jugak kiteorang atasi.

Sejak dari darjah 1 sampai tingkatan 5 kiteorang belajar Math dan Sc dalam Bahasa Melayu, then masuk matrikulasi tiba-tiba je Math, Kimia, Bio kena belajar dalam english, and we have only one year, means 2 semester only to get the best cgpa. Mula-mula sebulan pertama susah lah jugak, tapi bila dah lama-lama senang je, dah setahun mesti lah dah biasa dengan term-term sume in emglish kan? So then dapat tawaran medic kat indo nih.

You know what my brotha n sista. we have to learn all the subject here in bahasa indonesia, Bahasa Indonesia you as you see or watch in sinetron. Kat sinetron takpe lah ada subtitle, ni lecturer cakap, temen-temen ngomong ga ada terjemahannya sih, macam kura-kura aku rasa nak faham dorang ni ngomong, tapi kan bila dah sebulan dua, kiteorang bole lah faham dorang cakap, cuma bahasa daerah je lah, jangan harap aku nak paham kalau dorang cakap bahasa jawa or sunda. Maunyer ak nak faham...

This is life, learning process, adaptation. You wanna survive in this world, I gotta tell you boys n girls, you have to adapt with the situation. Kapan di mana pun. Even in our country. I still have lots to learn and lots to experience. Banyak mengeluh dan complaint nanti tak kemana pon.

Life is too wonderful and beautiful to be complaint. Enjoy it when we still can. Don’t be pressured by politic issue, enjoy your study, and always keep the faith.

“We will be happy when we give charity to other who in need, I am happy as long as I love JaeJoong.” Muahahaha :p

WHATEVER THEY SAY...

2011-10-17T04:44:00.001-07:00

Hye...

I don’t understand how can people be like this and like that.
Human nature I guess. I don’t have any right to interfere with
their business anyway.

I am still single, single as in, I am not in any relationship
related with any man. Owh yeah baby I love being single, I enjoyed
this precious moment, every bit of it, without any regret,
but yet, people keep asking me, “why you have no bf?”
”susah lah nanti nak kawen xde calon”, “you’re 22 for god sake,
and you still single?”. So what if I am still single, I am not desperate.
I hate non-marriage relationship, its a sin to me, the last relationship with a random man is enough to give 2-3 lesson
about non-marriage couple. It hurt, I am bleed and yes, please
no more couple.

And yess, I am never worry about me being single, my parents too. But my other family members of course they care and too worry perhaps. Its funny taw tak when your aunts and uncle try to set you up with someone yang aku tak tahu pon dorang wujud dan tinggal kat atas bumi nih. All I can do is gelak guling-guling atas lantai.

Whatever they say I don’t care. If you can find someone as handsome as JaeJoong, of couese, without ant doubt I will accept him. Muahahaha… Please JJ marry me!!! You are the only man on earth that I willing to love without any hesitation. Bukan senang taw aku nak jatuh cinta dengan lelaki nih. xD
Please keep dreaming mak cik teha, mane taw kan kalau dah jodoh. :p

Ok the point here is... I don’t care if you are in non-marriage relationship but please do keep your dignity, we are woman, we are precious, we are the diamond in jewel palace. We are EXPENSIVE!

paperKELIP : JJ aishiteru, saranghaeyo,wo ai nii, aku cinta padamu, I love you... After I get married, only then I can let you go :p
please don’t marry other girl before I get married ok... Hahaha.

PURPOSE OF LIVING...

2011-10-16T04:14:00.001-07:00

My father told me, he advise me that
“We make a pray to ALLAH swt to make our dream,
ambition some true, but at the same time we disobey
ALLAH swt words.” Subahanallah.

As I grow up, I’ve seen many things, I experienced every moment
that I’ve been through. I carelessness, my reckless moment, my sweet moment, my success and my failure. It make me what am I today. What I learned is what I gained through my experience,
my moments as a mere mortal.

As I live, many things change around me, my whole world now
is different from 10 years ago. I am a grown up girl now yo.
People change too, from bad to good, from good to bad.
I am sad, when I was a teen, she was my source of energy, to be
a good, independent girl, to be a successful girl.

But now, my source of energy is... yeah she is not what she was.
She is different now. I love you and I still am. Because I love you
so much as you are my older sister, I hope you will keep your Jati Diri as much as possible.

I am not a good girl, not like my sister farah, but I know the limit as a girl. I know that I still have my father, and brothers who will burden with my sin if I not watching my aurat.

Because I still have this faith in myself, the faith that I always keep
in my heart. I know I wear jeans too, so that is why from now on
I will try my best to wear a jeans with a long blouse or dress or t-shirt to cover my... (you know what lah kan)

You are wearing a hijab but at the same time you are wearing a legging, with a short tight t-shirt. I don’t care if you wanna wear it
like that. Its a fashion anyway, you love it. I don’t care, but ALLAH swt care. And I just don’t wanna be a disgrace person.

I am a rockers, but I will try my best not to wear legging.
I love skinny jeans, I wear it sometime but I will make sure
my blouse long enough to cover my asset.

I am not married yet, I hope I can take care of myself and be
careful with what am I wearing.

Not so good girl try to talk about aurat,

MOVE ON

2011-10-07T10:37:00.001-07:00

I have this feeling, I am sad, I am happy, I am confuse
I love, I smile, I cry...

But it was something that happen yesterday, and for sure
i will forget about it.

Because when I wake up again today, I will
love, smile, sad, cry, confuse.

Because I am just a human... All I have to do is move on
to the next chapter of life.

MY “IN HEAVEN”

2011-10-07T09:33:00.001-07:00

Assalamualaikum...

I am the most HAPPY GIRL right now!
Yeah baby my In Heaven Album by JYJ arrived at
my home this afternoon.
And I got RED COVER which was the shop
told me the red cover was sold out and
they dont know if the Korean provider still have it or not.

HAPPY HAPPY MEOOOOOOW…!

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ (smile like an idiot)

HUMAN NATURE...

2011-09-28T23:12:00.001-07:00

If I work in a company who use my ability, my talent to make money,
well go ahead, because I work for you.
But if the company is not fair, overwork me, make me like
their slave, working 24 hours, use all my energy and at the end
the pay is not reasonable, then I have no choice but to leave the company and find other company.

It is a human nature to seek for FREEDOM, because they use their talent to work, to earn money, to make good living. And I guess a lot of young doctor nowadays pon find their position in oversea hospital because the pay for doctor in our country are =.=

So I assume, that is human nature, and that is right for you to break loose yourself, tak langgar undang-undang pon kalau nak saman company yang kita keje kalau layan kita macam hamba abdi zaman perang dunia I dulu.

Biarlah company tu nak saman kita balik, tahan aktiviti kita sebagai manusia sekalipun, tapi ingat walaupun ak tak percaya kat benda ni “Karma is a bitch”. Tapi aku percaya, What gets around comes around. Through the hardship that you get, you will learn, when you learn you gain experience, when you gain experience you will live, that the process of life. And I do believe oneday, tak kira lah seberapa lama lagi... you will get your own true FREEDOM JYJ!

From what I see, you already hit and go beyond my expectation, and now you three are very successful young man, ALL THE BEST JYJ.

HYE...

2011-09-28T10:21:00.001-07:00

Bye bye ^^
owh.. JJ please be mine... muahaha

sincerely, manusia tak betol...

HOTTIEST

2011-09-19T21:52:00.001-07:00

Awwww… My heart hurt right now,it won’t stop pounding
and beating like crazy! And the reason to this madness are these.
Total nosebleed and I am dying.

Get Out MV ni kleuar masa aku tengah dalam kuliah (sereyesly kuliah tu bosan, pasal kebutuhan gizi wanita hamil), so tgh bosan-bosan aku cek lah JYJ3.net, mana taw kot-kot MV ni dah kuar (dari semalam aku tunggu kot). The result was, yeah the MV’s out and I almost screaming like Skizophrenia Paranoid patient in the middle of lecture (nasib baek weyh). Hehe

Cuba cakap kat aku, sape yang tak akan terpegun dengan mamat-mamat ni. Awwwww. My heart right now is “duguen duguen”. This is too much, this Thursday I have Ujian Integrasi 1. Too much distraction!

Always Keep The Faith
AKTF!!!

DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY

2011-09-09T09:44:00.001-07:00

To all of you guys out there, BE HAPPY kay! Don’t frown too much cuz you will aging faster. SMILE and BE POSSITIVE, Allah swt will always stay by our side no matter what. Just keep praying and keep our faith alive. You can do it, everyone can do it. yes we CAN! :)

I hope Micky can soothe you a little.

Love ya’ll muchos...

CATS LOVER….

2011-09-09T07:41:00.001-07:00

Assalamualaikum... ^^

I am a cat lover and guess what!!! My JJ also a cat lover!! yeyeah...
Well, I am pretty sure you all already know that JJ have two kittens, Jiji and Yoyo, and yesterday JJ posted a pic of him with a new kitten. A hot guy in a office suit holding a cute kitten. *MELTING*

JaeJoong holding a kitten

Me holding Bimbi

We are the CATS LOVER!!!!

till then, bubye ^^,

MY 1st GIF!!!

2011-09-07T16:29:00.001-07:00

Assalamualaikum dan Selamat Hari Raya semua!!
Sempena balik Malaysia ni, mestilah jumpa dengan famili dan kawan-kawan kan, so far so good.

Heee~ bukan nak cerita pasal raya, tapi nak cerita yang aku dah pandai buat GIF file. My lil’ sis yang ajar, before ni, aku reti edit gambar je, tapi buat gif tak reti. Senang je rupanye pakai Adobe Photoshop CS5.

My First GIF

Of Course la aku buat GIF JJ.
after this, boleh lah buat GIF banyak-banyak letak kat TUMBLR aku yang sememangnya dah jadi TUMBLUR tu.

4D ALIEN

2011-08-18T10:18:00.001-07:00

Hey I am 4D Alien Fatehah,
and I have exam day after tomorrow,
for those who have the exam the same day as I am
LETS FIGHTO!!!

and as usual, this lovey dovey Mr.Q will keep bothering me

SELCA!!

sincerely from 4d alien,

SESI MENGUTUK

2011-08-17T19:51:00.001-07:00

Assalamaualaikum...

Hey guys, finally group M-POP Malaysia 24/7 release their official MV for “Cinta”. Their idea was great but... meh... I mean, if they really wanna copy k-pop or j-pop, they should do it properly, show their all out performance. Ni tak, idea dah ada, dah best, gempak, tapi lagu macam lagu “Friday” by Rebecca Black, Choreography tah hape-hape, menari pun tak energetic. Bak kata Ryan Higa “I’ve lost for four WORDS. WHAT THE HELL WASTHAT??” The song was terrible, the lyrics are terrible and I became tearable T_T

You know what 24/7, DBSK U-Know Yunho pernah cakap. nak buat performance yang FLAWLESS, benda paling penting adalah PRACTICEs like CRAZY and EATs like CRAZY. Practices ler vocal korang and dance korang tu kay. Makan dan exercise banyak-banyak biar body tu umphh sket. For those yang tak pernah tengok MV dorang, aku nasehatkan, tak payah lah tengok, nanti tak sempat habis korang dah terguling-guling gelak *ROFL* tapi kalo insist gak, meh lah kita bergelak sakan beramai-ramai.

Lawak tak?? Cubalah buat betul-betul macam mereka-mereka ni, baru lah keren... Kalau nak tiru, tiru betul-betul dan bersungguh-sungguh, By Hook or By Crook mesti nak jadi macam diaorang ni.

Dong Bang Shin Ki (DBSK)

Super Junior (SuJu)

2PM

B1A4 (ni rookie group)

Tolong lah practice banyak-banyak dulu before korang nak debut.

sincerely from K-POP fanatic.

HEARTBEAT...

2011-08-16T09:31:00.001-07:00

Assalamualaikum. Hye Guys!

I am a little, a little pissed off, not a little but a “BIG” pissed off, disappointed and offended when people make a fun of my religion, Islam, my beautiful religion. And in this Holy Month of Ramadhan, lets make peace, I will forgive and forget. Peace.

My heart will beat faster and faster when I saw this...

Kim Jaejoong “Protect The Boss, All The Best!!”

paperKELIP : Nak meletup jantung bila tengok mamat nih, BLUSHING!!!

LOVE OF MY LIFE

2011-08-14T14:13:00.001-07:00

KIM JAEJOONG aka JJ!!!

KENAPA AKU MINAT KOREA!!

2011-08-14T10:54:00.001-07:00

Assalamualaikum dan selamat malam semua...

Ingat lagi tak dulu masa SuJu-M datang Malaysia untuk buat persembahan Hari Belia, ramai artist-artist Malaysia tak puas hati sebab penaja layan diaorang macam dewa?? Mesti ramai tak tahu tapi isu ni hebh dalam twitter. Of course the artiste who cause the trouble got antis.

Well, aku tak nak bukak cerita pasal isu ni, tapi aku nak cakap yang aku minat giler, minat tahap dewa mati hidup balik kat K-POP!!! Kenapa minat K-POP bukan M-POP??? sebab...

1. Sebab diaorang handsome, kacak bergaya, cantik dan sexy (sexy??)

2. Diaorang bukan lah artis-artis segera yang tiba-tiba popular melalui rancangan reality tv, walaupun diaorang dah menang dalam apa-apa show, diaorang kena training bertahun-tahun (paling minimal 2 tahun), contoh DBSK.

3. Diaorang punya lagu best-best dan catchy. Iyer best. Contoh paling mudah, lagu Wonder Girls “nobody”, SuJu “Sorry Sorry”. Sebut jer, semua tak bosan dengar.

4. Idol-idol dan celebrity Korea ni, tak reti nak malu taw tak. Lawak dan menghiburkan hati, tapi still ada manner diaorang.

5. Diaorang pandai menari, latihan yang bertahun-tahun yang diaorang terima tu dapat memantapkan skill tarian diaorang, bukan setakat 3 bulan jer.

6. Pokoknyer memang aku ni gila korea, Personal Preference kay.

Biasanya, kepada siapa-siapa yang telah memperlekehkan K-POP idols atau cuba-cuba nak bad mouth diaorang, mereka akan dapat ramai anti fans, don’t you ever underestimate the power of K-POP fans, better you all senyap sebab peminat K-POP ni global. Tapi aku takde lah troll orang yang kutuk K-POP, aku baca je tweet dan komen-komen fans. Tapi, you try bad mouth my JJ or My DBSK, my 2PM, my SuJu, my Wonder Girls, aku troll ko habis-habisan, Heee~

HOW I WAS NEARLY GET KILLED??

2011-08-13T16:08:00.001-07:00

Night yeorobun!

Yeah baby, I can’t sleep...

OKay tajuk kat atas tu memang tak boleh blah dan tak equivalent dgn apa yg aku cuba nk sampaikan. Tapi sebab aku bosan dan takde kerja nak buat, sambil-sambil tunggu azan subuh, datang lah idea ni.

Before semua orang dalam rumah aku ni tido, aku, Ida dan raihan telah menonton sebuah Banjun DBSK (drama pendek) yang bertajuk “Dating On Earth” demi meluangkan waktu yang ada. Dan pelakon dalam cerita tu of course lah My DBSK! nak dipendekkan cerita, cik Raihan kita ni dia minat gila! Fan GIRL of Park Yoochun or Micky Yoochun...

( OMG HOT!! *MELTING DROOLING*)

So with happy face we watched the drama with peace and laugh like crazy...

Tengah syok-syok menonton drama ni, mestilah ada Romantic Scene between lead actor and actress kan? But unfortunately, the lead actor was Micky...

All of sudden, cik Raihan kita menjerit dan wajah dia berubah jadi macam ni...

Kita orang dah takut and kecut perut...

Tak semena-mena, cik Raihan pun...

Arghhhhh!!! kita orang kena belasah teruk dengan cik Raihan sebab dia bengang dengan actress tu, dah lah Micky tu romantic, dengan muka dia yang handsome tu, cairlah every girls yang tengok kan. Orang paling teruk kena belasah adalah Ida, sebab dia duk sebelah Raihan. Korang jangan ingat Raihan tu tak kuat, korang belum rasa. Muahahaha. So, moral of the story, don’t underrated the power of fangirls! And that is how I’m nearly get killed last night. :p

BTW, if I show this CF to her, she probably will kill me for real. hehe.

Gahhhhh!!! the CFs are funny and Micky is too cute! okay I need to sleep, anyeong!!!

MY UNPRODUCTIVE DAYS DURING FASTING MONTH

2011-08-13T11:37:00.001-07:00

Assalamualaikum... Happy Fasting and Salam Ramadhan everyone!!!

Today is 14 of August aka 14 Ramadhan, and 10 days to go before my feet step on bumi Malaysia yang kucintai! So currently I’m in Jakarta, spend my holidays with classes and books (books?) heee~

Try korang bayangkan betapa tak produktif nyer lah hidup aku sejak-sejak bulan puasa nih, kelas dah lah tak full macam hari-hari biasa, tido memalam (tido malam ke?) dah lah after subuh, bangun tengahari, my biology clock dah ting tong atau dengan kata lain, siklus sirkardian aku dah macam hamster dah, siang tdo, malam berjaga.

Bukan nyer nak beramal ibadah time-time bulan penuh barakah ni. Adoyai fatehah malik! Tak taw biology clock aku nih boleh betul balik atau tak bile dah sampai Malaysia nanti. How come I’m gonna face my daddy, when her 1st born daughter who is 22 years old now act like "HAMSTER", okay hamster is cute at least.

Lagi tak produktif bile tak boleh tido bukan nak study, duk layan variety show from Korea and korean drama. Running Man (RM)lawak gile, bila dah gelak berdekah-dekah macam Banshee memalam buta, mestilah memerlukan energy yag lebih, oxygen consumption pun bertambah, lagi lah tak mengantuk. So nasehat aku untuk orang yang baru nak layan RM ni, jangan tengok memalam, tengok lah pada waktu tengahari time-time tengah mengantuk, confirm korang akan kembali bertenaga.

Untuk itu, aku akan cuba untuk menidurkan diri di awal malam sekitar jam 11 malam (awal ler tu) supaya pagi-pagi aku bole bangun awal, kemas-kemas bilik, pergi pasar. Aku akan cuba tahan mata aku dari tidur pada waktu siang supaya di malam hari aku mengantuk awal. Boleh lah saya mimpi JJ saya tiap-tiap malam. I love you JJ, my perfect guy.

daa~~ my cat dah ajak tido, and how in he** aku nak tido sekarang sebab aku tak mengantuk.

paperKELIP : Finally, I can write back in this blog with happiness, the last incident, lets forget it, let them go, just like when Jay out from 2PM and my beloved DBSK disband (well I still mourn a little, love 5 of them, AKTF!)

I HATE YOU

2011-05-21T07:15:00.001-07:00

I hate you,

I am sorry but I really can help myself from hating you.

Hating you is the best thing I can do right now, you are the worst person I ever met, the worst among the worst, yeah you are. I wish I never met you and I regret I met you. You are the biggest mistake in my life. I HATE YOU, now and forever. If you don’t know why I hate you this much, well you should know what you did. If you too dumb to admit your mistake, defend it. I hate you, I don’t trust you. And I am fuck up. Sorry, but I don’t feel sorry for you. Yeah I hate you. I hate you and I wish I can say it out loud straight to your face, I HATE YOU SO MUCH.

I hate you, sincerely with all my heart.

LETs EM’ GO…

2011-05-04T08:43:00.001-07:00

I am a person who learn from my past. I have this Post-Traumatic Disorder (penyakit yang aku reka sendiri) since I lost Her. Since then, I am lost, self-conscious aku hilang, and the result is I became who am I today, as you can see ( if you can see inside me lah)

Yeah... Its hurt but, you know sometime you just to let it go, let it go baby, don’t keep it to your heart.

Last February, Kak Utaq and Abang Firdaus asked me to take care of their cats which were Bom Bom, Bimbi and Milo. They are cute, very cute and I love them so much, of course I love Bimbi more. But you know what, no matter how much I love them especially Bimbi, Kak Utaq will come and take her back. So, I set my mind, my mental, I will let them go, I have to, if not I will grief. Oh yeah... last Sunday they took them back. I am sad, but I can’t cry, I have to be strong I have to let them go. I have to let my princess go (Bimbi). Love Bimbi.

I know, its hard to let someone go, I felt it before, to let my mom go is hard, it took almost 3/4 of my heart, to grow it back to normal is not easy. I’m in love with her and she was my big lost. Even if someone asked me about her, I will hide my tears in my heart. Come on, I can’t cry in front of people, I’m not weak, even if I’m shaking I will stand it.

Recently, I break up with Lukman, I let him go, and that is my choice, I choose to let him go. I am moving on, yes moving on. Yeah I am sad, sad too sad... But to let people see my sadist condition is not good too right. I am broken. Bak kata ayat-ayat novel cinta tu “Luka lama baru nak sembuh dah dapat luka baru”, Luka lama yang aku try nak rawat pon tak terawat sebab banyak sangat komplikas dia, baru nak sembuh tapi penawar tu racun rupanya.

Trying to erase my “BIG LOSS” then come other “BIG DISEASE”. I know I am not stable, but I am trying to stable myself. I laugh, I smile, I talk, and I even do something that I don’t want to do, pegang katak dan potong kepala dia misalnya (Ingat aku nak ke potong kepala katak tu??) then aku rela darah aku kena amek time praktium PK, dan sampai sekarang efek samping tu terasa, tangan aku belah kiri ni asyik kebas je, agak-agak saraf kat bagian tu tak sembuh lagi kot. Dan-dan aku rasa aku agak ada masalah kejiwaan sikit hari demi hari, aku rasa aku ada simptom-simptom Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (tiap-tiap hari aku akan sapu bilik aku tiap 10 menit sebab aku rasa bilik aku kotor), then Bulimia, aku akan rasa aku ni cam Panda or Queen Latifah after makan banyak-banyak, in order to compensate, aku akn workout tak ingat dunia. Seriously, buat masa sekarang ni tak menganggu hidup aku lagi, tapi aku takut aku tak boleh kontrol diri aku sendiri. Harap-harap aku boleh control.

Well... aku rasa semua ni sekejap je, insya-ALLAH aku normal sebab aku yakin ALLAH swt itu ada untuk menjaga dan menstabilkan hidup kita kalau kita berusaha kan. Maybe I am not 100% heal, but I am here, study, listen to people, happy with myself, family, friends and you (tak taw sape). Owh and you in my dream, it nice to know that you are not like what you look. Hahaha.

Let go and moving on... Please babe, I know its hard, but life is not in our hand. Its not a bicycle handle or car wheel, we can’t control it. The least you can do is pray for the best. Looking you like this make devastated.

SISTERS…

2011-04-28T22:20:00.001-07:00

Aku ingat lagi, pertama kali kita berkenalan, Bangunan MARA, BTN Meru, KLIA. Sampai Jakarta, kita tujuh orang jadi housemates. Mula-mula agak awkward dengan korang semua. Biasalah baru lagi.

Masa berjalan, kadang-kadang laju, kadang-kadang perlahan, kadang-kadang rasa macam masa tak bergerak pon. Tup-tup dah 3 tahun kita berkawan, eh bukan setakat kawan je taw kita dah jadi lebih dari tu. Kita dah macam FAMILY. Seorang takde, rasa awkward je.

Kenal korang dan jadi rapat sampai kan perangai aku dengan korang dah blend, semua baik buruk aku korang terima dan semua yang baik buruk korang aku terima. Kalau terasa pon sekejap je, tak sampai sejam pun kita okay balik. Ermm aku taw, aku ni sengal, degil, word vomit, tapi korang layan je. Actually, I never be this crazy when I was high school or matrix student. Maybe because of the tough environment here, I have to be more crazy. Entahlah. Layankan aje.

Korang ni bermacam-macam variasi, ada yang macam ada kuasa psikik, tahu je apa yang orang lain tak tahu, ada yang gedik dan poyo-poyo, tapi yang penting korang original, bukan plastik or spastik youth. Ada yang melayan jer, pstu bila bengang mengamuk sendiri. Ada yang unpredictable, tiba-tiba je... eh tak sangka kau macam ni, pastu kita gelak ramai-ramai. Ada yang kalau dia bersuara bunyi macam jawa lah, macam orang kampung walaupun dia orang KL. Kita kalau duduk bertujuh, macam-macam cerita keluar, bergossip yang tah sape tak kenal pun, tapi bole je jadi bahan cerita. Well, girls biasalah kami suka gossip.

Korang banyak nasihat... Nasihat-nasihat korang banyak buat aku berfikir jauh, Banyak buat aku berfikir untuk masa hadapan. Aku tahu, lately aku ada mental breakdown dan aku pun tak sure aku boleh recover balik ke tak. Aku tak pasti, tapi yang penting bila dengan korang, at least aku lupa dekat masalah aku ni, walaupun benda tu datang balik, haunting my day, ermm bukan senang nak lupa kan.

One thing for sure, when I’m with you my girls, I don’t have to worry that I am single now. Pengalaman yang dulu, yang pedih tu banyak ajar aku erti sabar. Pengalaman tu cukup perit, sakit, tapi aku boleh senyum lagi sebab korang ada. Thanks sisters.

To my sisters, I love you all.

paperKELIP : She is not me... I have the full version of this poem. Full credit to my friend Nik Nasihah. I love her, the one who always give me spiritual advice.

NIGHTMARE

2011-04-28T06:29:00.001-07:00

A last few days, I have this nightmare. I hate this kind of nightmare when you suddenly woke up from your sleep coz of the stupid silly dream.

This is a bad dream, a nightmare about someone I know from my daily life a student, and we often and WILL see and bump to each other. I am disturb by this nightmare, after this happening I am not seeing this person as he used to be, I can’t even face him. I hate him. I am sorry but I can’t help myself from hating this person.

Silly kan, you can just hate a person that you barely know just because of your nightmare. Owh yeah baby, he’s ain’t a bad person in my dream, don’t misunderstanding okay.

A dream is a dream. It just a trick played by SHaiton. But this dream, I just can’t accept it. Maybe I will forget about it when slowly.

By the way, when you asked me, can you forgive me Fatehah? I can’t... My heart is in pain. Nomu appa.

paperKELIP : Aku harap kan my sis of siete hermanas, you will find your happiness. I am happy for you dear.

KAIN BURUK LUNYAI

2011-04-25T05:13:00.001-07:00

Assamualaikum...

Hari Rabu ni aku ada exam integrasi 1 dan lepas tu ada PBL 2, makalah dah siap, tunggu print je tapi slide presentation tak buat lagi.

Esok hari Selasa, esok ada kelas Farmakologi pepagi lagi, masa kedua ada kelas Patologi Anatomi (kelas ganti yag aritu batal), masa ke-3, tahan taksi pastu off to Rumah Sakit Husada untuk kelasa anastesi.

Nampak normal kan, tapi bila kita yang akan mengalami benda ni dan membayangkan betapa penatnya kelas dari pagi sampai petang hari before exam, hari exam ada PBL 2 lagi.

Sebab aku fikir dah jadi doctor nanti hidup lagi susah, apa kata aku enjoy this moment penat-penat nak mati as a med student, sebab dah memang aku yang choose nak jadi doctor dan takde life kan.

Maybe betul cakap kawan aku, perjalanan aku masih panjang nak capai cita-cita yang aku gebang-gebang dulu, dan aku tak sampai separuh pon lagi perjalanan aku nak genggan cita-cita aku tu. Naik ke tempat paling tinggi perlahan-lahan, tapi bila turun macam F1. Nak naik balik kena lah banyak bersabar. Abah message suruh solat hajat banyak-banyak.

paperKELIP :Antara Blackberry dengan Itouch, which one worth the money?

FLAWLESS SKIN

2011-04-22T23:51:00.001-07:00

Hye Guys... Assalamualaikum

Dah lama aku janji macam mana nak dapat muka flawless macam artis-artis korea. Okay sekarang baru aku dapat nak tulis. Artis korea ni mereka memang berkulit lawa, putih dan flawless sebab dalam dunia ni Acne Vulgaris jarang serang mereka, biasanya orang-orang kat region East Asia ni.

Cara-cara dia ;

1. Cuci muka dalam 2-3 kali sehari

2. Tenyeh muka dengan scrub muka seminggu sekali untuk buang sel-sel mati yang melekat kat muka.

3. Rajin-rajin lah pergi facial, buat peeling dan whitening.

4. Jangan selalu sangat tukar-tukar produk penjaga wajah anda, kalau dah sesuai dengan yang satu tu, stick to it.

5. After dah mandi, dah cuci muka, sila lah jangan malas untuk apply toner, krim pelembap wajah, malam-malam apply night cream supaya kulit wajah dapat rejuvenate di malam hari.

Hahaha. Aku pandai cakap jer tapi dalam senarai kat atas, yang aku selalu buat adalah no. 1 dan 5 jer.

By the way, nak nampak kulit anda flawless, pakai makeup. Seriously menjadi. Contoh aku ni, muka banyak parut jerawat. What you need are, BB cream, foundation and compact or loose powder.

Firstly, after you applied toner and cream to your face, apply the BB cream, BB cream is the best to make your face brighter and shining, it will make your face more beautiful (cewahhhh). For me, I just use MAYBELLINE’s BB Cream, affordable. Tapi ada lah gak aku berangan nak pakai BB cream’s ETUDE, tapi tahu-tahu je lah barang kosmetik dari KOrea tu, harga sebototol tu dah sama harga dengan makanan Harlequin, aku sayang anak lagi lah, hehehe. Tapi barangan ETUDE bagus taw.

Secondly, tempek lah bedak ke muka anda, tempek tau bukan sapu, kalau sapu nanti bedak tak rata dan tak melekat betul-betul kat muka nanti senang hilang. Actually, kalau dah pakai BB cream, foundation dah tak payah pakai, tapi kalau rasa nak lagi wow boom kebaboom boleh je pakai, make sure in a small amount je, kalau tak nanti jadi macam EDWARD CULLEN plak, or pelakon opera cina. Jangan cakap aku tak warn. Owh, aku tak pakai concealer, tapi Michelle Phan suka pakai concealer.

Eh, dah buat semua kat atas tu, tapi bila bergediks-gediks depan camera, all the pics turn out to be like =.=’ , bekas jerawat dan jerawat still ada, make up plak tak rata. BURUKKK!!!

Tak perlu risau, aku ada solusi dia, cara dia adalah. Gambar tak lawa, edit je lah akak adik oi, sekarang banyak photo editor yang ada. Contoh nya Adobe Photoshop CS5. Eh adobe photoshop susah lah, tak ada yang lagi senang ke? Ada... Guna lah Adobe Photoshop Lightroom. Dengan Lightroom, mengedit gambar menjadi sangat lah senang. Tak payah nk duplicate layer or buat layer baru.

Nak tahu macam mana nak edit-edit pakai Lightroom, nanti aku ajar, patut sekrang ni aku siapkan makalah. Okay bye.

paperKELIP : Gedik plak rasa letak header macam tu.

PSYCHOSILOCYBIN

2011-04-21T19:31:00.001-07:00

Hey guys...

Pernah tak korang semua dengar perkataan PSYCHOSILOCYBIN? Owh well kalau korang pernah dengar or minat dekat INCUBUS mestilah pernah dengar. Ngee~

Tak tahu apa maksud dia, dan dalam kamus OXFORD edisi bla bla bla pon tak ada perkataan ni. Tapi aku rasa word ni catchy.

paperKELIP : My earphone finally broke after the cats bite it. Ouhh lari budget.

CLARIFICATION

2011-04-21T10:29:00.001-07:00

Good night guys...

Sambil-sambil mendengar lagu berdegang-degang dalam telinga ni, buat-buat PBL, minum cappucino nescafe, memang lah sangat nikmat. Walaupun berpeluh-peluh depan kipas sebab kepanasan Jakarta ni, aku akan mengklarifikasi semuanya. By the way, aku harap kau baca nih.

Aku dah pon ber’moving on’, dah lupa pon, dah bahagia pon dah okay, dah bersemangat, dah tak nak cakap apa-apa pon. Bila orang tanya kenapa, jawapan aku sebab study. Owh fake nye lah hai. Tapi, baru-baru ni, entah apa jadi aku pun tak jelas, kita gaduh dan kau buat aku nanges balik. Seriyes shot lah kan. Sebab aku macam menyampah gila tahap dewa mati hidup balik dengan perangai kau tu, aku tujukan entry ni khas untuk kau, harap bila kau dah baca, kau jelas dan faham kenapa aku blah dari hidup kau.

What a nice name, but not coming with a nice manner.

1. Aku blah, tak nak couple dan break dengan kau sebab kau perangai entah apa-apa. Kau PLAYBOY, BUAYA DARAT, CASANOVA dan sewaktu dengannya. Kita couple, tapi kau ada dua orang lagi perempuan kat belakang aku.

2. Aku tak boleh terima lah perangai kau. Entah apa-apa. Banyak dah aku menggunakan kaedah-kaedah untuk menasihatkan kau. Tapi di takuk lama juga lah anda berada. Bila dah break up pandai ye kau cakap, “Awak lah yang buat saya kuat selama ni”. Seriyesly?? Statement tak boleh blah.

3. Owh, ada kau care pasal aku? Hell no. Tak payah nak ungkit yang aku ni tak nampak banyak dah pengorbanan kau kat aku, bagi aku semua tu tak boleh nak cover. Lagi pun, satu jer kot pengorbanan kau, datang sini bulan 12 tahun lepas guna duit sendiri. Tu jer, yang lain? Tak ada, aku tak nampak, tak rasa pun. Eh eh, by the way, tak payah nak guna reverse psychology yang aku ni tak pernah ambil tahu pasal anda. Anda sendiri pun tahu yang anda selalu mengelakkan diri dari aku bila aku care kat kau.

Ermmm...

Aku sebenarnya tak nak lah tulis atau gebang-gebang kat sini pasal kita, nak buat macam mana, kau start dulu. Well mister, I didn’t expecting you to inbox me on FB, asked to remove that guy from my friend list. Well hellooo why? Because he is Cik Emo H’s cousin?? Harus lah kau risau sebab dia sepupu current GF kau kan. Pastu kau tanya apa yang aku tak puas hati kat kau, aku tak kesah pun, tapi aku bengang lah kan bila kau ungkit balik cakap aku ni tak pernah kisah atau tak pernah nak amek tahu pasal kau. How come? Punya lah aku selalu message-message kau tanya khabar berita, call kau tanya perkembangan semasa. Aku nak tanya kau balik, ada kau jawab semua soalan aku dengan betuk, jujur dan ikhlas? Bila aku tanya kau suruh aku hang off ada lah. Eh, penah kau call, message aku balik? Tak pernah kan sebab kau takde kredit nak call. What a lame answer. Call Miss Emo H everyday after her take off from work takpe pulak, message cik Lily Ika tak habis kredit pulak, ye lah ada plan celcom tu. Aku kan jauh. Tapi bila online kat FB, boleh plak kau main game tu kan. Tapi, alasan kau sama je lah, “Tehah pon tau kan kita boleh berhubung dengan internet je”, tapi bila dah online, owh sangat entah apa-apa.

Dah, tak payah lah kau nak gebang-gebang kat orang lain yang kau tunggu aku wish birthday kau on 13 April 2011. Jangan harap lah aku wish kat kau, owh aku ada wish, aku hantar message tapi tak delivered, baguslah tak delivered, I am GLAD! Pastu kau boleh plak cakap, “Saya tunggu awak wish, saya dah janji dengan diri sendiri akan berubah bila awak wish saya punya birthday, tapi awak tak wish-wish pon, saya tunggu”, dah tak payah lah. Manusia kalau dia nak berubah, tak perlu tunggu orang wish dia birthday pon, dalam kondisi macam mana pun dia akan aim and determine untuk berubah. Tak perlu ambil masa panjang dan lama untuk berfikir, walaupun bertatih satu-satu, dia akan cuba sikit-sikit ke arah kebaikan. Eh ada ke kau wish birthday aku?? sah kan nak call, message pon takde. Tapi aku buat bodoh je lah, orang tak ingat buat apa aku nak hegeh.

Lagi satu, tak perlu lah kau pergi cakap kat kawan-kawan kita yang aku tinggalkan kau dengan muka penuh sedih. Tak perlu nak mintak simpati orang lain. Last-last mestilah aku kena cop as a slut kan. Kau innocent aku yang salah. Mirror and reflect yourself before you act. Yes aku tinggalkan kau sebab kau playboy dan memang tak akan pernah berubah.

Kau tahu tak, pandai lah cik Emo H tu, dia dah tahu kita couple, dan kau usya-usya dia, sejak bulan 8 tahun lepas, (owh ye ke? cakap tak pernah kejar perempuan dah lepas kita couple, penipu), pastu cik Emo H tu pergi add aku kat FB, pstu dia cakap macam-macam pasal kau. At the first place memang lah aku tak percaya (sebab kau dah buat aku janji yang aku kena trust kau), tapi biasalah perempuan punya intuition lagi high class, aku pun pergi check up, yeah kau memang ada ramai perempuan simpanan (patut lah kau selalu tanya boleh tak nak kahwin lebih dari satu?). Wahai lah Encik Lukman Nulhakim bin Rusali soalan kau sangat lah ==’ dan jawapan dia sangat lah absurd.

Kau tahu tak, kau dah buat aku langgar prinsip aku tak akan couple lagi dengan siapa-siapa after 2nd relationship? Dan aku pergi langgar, bodoh nyer lah hai Fatehah Malik ni. Betul cakap Tuty, maybelah aku ni first love kau (owh ye ke? Playboy pon taw pasal love?), sebelum couple ayat macam-macam, sweet talker, tapi bila dah dapat abaikan macam tu je, tapi bila dah takde mula lah tercari-cari balik. Well as for you, kau merayu lah, tunggu lah aku macam mana pon, jangan harap aku akan pandang belakang dan senyum dan lari balik kat kau. Aku pandang belakang pun sebab aku tak nak bila aku maju ke depan, perkara yang kat belakang tu jadi balik kat depan. As a precaution, I will look back and take it as a teacher for my future sake.

Aku rasa sangat bodoh, bangang dan tak guna, sebab boleh jatuh cinta dekat kau. Sekarang aku macam dah takde perasaan nak bercintan-cintun, dan geli-geli dengan cinta. Better lah aku berwaham dan have self-delusion dengan artis-artis korea macam Wooyoung, Kyuhyun, Top, atau dengan Mr Alex turner dengan menganggap mereka-mereka ni pakwe aku. Tak pun paling koman aku rasa lagi best aku usha Dr Suria dan Dr Regie kat kampus tu. Tak pun mengusha Encik Goal-Keeper group yang kalah masa final dulu tu, dia smart dan handsome. Lagipun flirting is the art of seducing, and doesn’t mean I flirt I want them as a BF. Owh aku tak usha student Malay, aku usha anak Indonesia je. Hahaha.

Kau Lukman, tak payah lah nak berjanji berubah, dan bila kita jumpa balik kau dah berubah kau nak aku kawin dengan kau. Nak berubah konon, tak payah susah-susah, kau pun cakap sendiri kan, buat apa nak nerubah, last-last merana juga. Well aku tahu, kau tak pernah percaya dengan Qada dan Qadhar seseorang, dan last-last kau akan salahkan takdir sebab jadikan dan buat hidup kau miserable. Aku ni dah tak larat nak nasehat dah, harap kau jumpa lah dengan mana-mana minah yang mampu layan kau dan mampu kasi nasehat kat kau, better lagi kalau dia boleh sepak terajang kau kalau kau liat sangat.

Kita kawan dari form 2. Tapi jangan sesekali kau cakap kau kenal aku macam lah aku ni soulmate kau. Tak perlu. Perangai ntah pape tak payah nak jadi soulmate aku lah. Betul cakap kau, Kau memang SANGAT TAK LAYAK dengan AKU, KAU dah TAK BOLEH NAK SESUAI kan DIRI kau dengan aku. Dah tahu awal-awal ada hati nak aku khawin dengan kau tapi at the same time perangai macam tu gak. Owh lupa, kau ajak kahwin dengan semua perempuan yang kau couple, tak kira lah masa tu kau ada 10 orang sekaligus, sepuluh-sepuluh kau ajak kahwin.

Abang aku yang over-protective tu tak tahu yang kau macam ni, kalau dia tahu, aku nasehatkan kau, jaga lah diri elok-elok, dia angah, abang aku yang akan cari lelaki yang dah buat adik dia miserable macam ni.

Harap aku dapat mengklarifikasi semua permasalahan ni, semua pihak pun senang hati kan. Orang yang tanya aku kenapa aku break up dengan kau puas hati dah tahu reason sebenar dan boleh lah mereka bergosip-gosipan (biasalah perempuan, aku pun suka gosip), kau pun dah tahu, tak payah lah nak mengheboh-heboh dan merayu-rayu aku lagi. Dah tahu reason, dah clear semua. Aku bukan tak nak cakap depan-depan dengan kau, tapi kau tu yang akan cuba memutar belit fakta sampai aku nak cakap point sebenar pon tak tercapai. Harap maklum.

paperKELIP : Wasting my time and tear over a player. What the...

BAJU KURUNG LAGI

2011-04-20T02:57:00.001-07:00

Hari ini aku ada her untuk Blok 23 yang lalu, tepat jam 11 pagi dalam jadual UKRIDA. Tapi pagi-pagi lagi ada kelas. Sebagai seorang pelajar yang dah berazam tak akan sekali sekali, never ever ever untuk bolos kelas, maka aku pon pegilah kelas Ortodental (GILUT) pagi tadi. Dengan yakin dan penuh percaya diri aku amek jeans dan t-shirt, sarung kat badan, bersiap lebih kurang, kasi budak-budak spoil makan, off me go, went class by angkot. Arini tak jalan kaki sebab mengantuk muka pon seposen je.

Sampai kelas, duduk kat port biasa, kelas pon mula. Habis kelas, Lina pon cakap kat aku, “Tehah, kakak senior cakap kena pakai baju kurung lah untuk seat Her hari ini, and ko pegi pakai jeans”. Aku dah, WHAT????!!!!!??? Hampir-hampir nak menjerit lompat-lompat macam orang gila. KENA PAKAI BAJU KURUNG???? Kena balik lah ni? Dan of course lah kena.

WHY I HAVE TO BALIK RUMAH JUST TO CHANGE MY JEANS and T-SHIRT WITH BAJU KURUNG???? APA KAITAN EXAM DENGAN KENA PAKAI BAJU KURUNG ATAU SKIRT??? Owh owh… Memang aku membentak-bentak lah dalam hati.

Kenapa aku jadi macam ni?? SEbab aku anti baju kurung. Ada apa dengan baju kurung sampai baju kurung ni bole jadi musuh aku? Kerana, aku rasa orang yang ganas, lagi tak beradab sopan macam aku ni tak sesuai pakai baju kurung. Dan aku rasa awkward srtiap kali aku pakai baju kurung. Aku rasa orang tengok aku dengan pandangan yang aneh je, macam nampak alien workshop je. Hehe.

By the way : Aku sangat tak jelita, anggun sopan dah begaya bila berbaju kurung. Dan aku rasa lepas kejadian tadi, angka pertahun aku untuk pakai baju kurung makin rendah.

RP

2011-04-18T10:06:00.001-07:00

Where are you RP when I need you the most, my friend, only to you I can rely on and relieve all this tension. RP I need you now but you maybe busy with your final.

paperKELIP : FInally I can’t help myself.

CONFUSE

2011-04-18T08:59:00.001-07:00

I am a little confuse here, when I asked you “What are you doing?” “What’s up?” “How are you?” “Where have you been?” “What exactly is your problem?”, you didn’t answer me properly, but at the end, I am the one to blame. Am I not caring enough? When I asked you to explain your situation, did you explain it to me? No, I didn’t hear any explanation from your mouth, what I heard is are some random twisted facts. I am a logical thinking girl, I think with logic and I can accept some random facts before it proven.

I am maybe just ignorant worthless chic in your eyes but I did and do care about you. You always said that I am this and that girl. Who am I?? People said, you can forgive people but to trust again, it a long way to go.

I am confused, seriously I am never this confuse before. Owh, by the way, I am never will try to bother you, I will not disturb you, so please if you want to make me stay away from you don’t use this word to me “You are too perfect, who am I by your side”, to me, you are the worst loser ever. You want me to be by your side, but you never try to win my heart back. I am sad, you said you love me but, “Awak tak bersungguh!!!!” You never try, but at the end I am the one to blame.

I am really confuse here. My head is in pain right now, my heart is more pain. I don’t know if I will love again. I’m moving on, but to give my love to any random guy is not... is not... is impossible for me right now. I can’t, I will not...

BAJU KURUNG

2011-04-04T11:54:00.001-07:00

Since I was a little girl, my mom wore me with baju kurung and all the gown dress, dengan harapan aku akan membesar menjadi seorang yang feminim. Tapi sayangnya, aku membesar sebagai seorang tomboy dan tak tahu malu.

Di usia awal 20-an ni jugak lah time kelas mata aku kena paksa pakai baju kurung. Dan aku rasa macam WTH!!! Seriously baju kurung?? Okayh fine. Aku tak faham kenapa orang cakap pakai baju kurung automatically perempuan nampak ayu. Aiyoo kalau dah ganas pakai lah baju kurung sulaman dari indrapura kayangan pun tak akan nampak ayu lah. Ngee~

No offend lah eh to all Baju Kurung lovers... I don’t hate Baju Kurung but Baju Kurung look kinda weird on my body. Wuhuu... Tak caye? okayh... Sebab aku rasa pelik so ape jadah aku nak amek gambo pakai baju kurung. Tapi tadi tiba-tiba aku jumpa gambar aku dengan angah aku time nak fly sini. Muka sangat lah umur 18 thn.

CARE

2011-04-04T03:47:00.001-07:00

You are the most reliable pen-friend that I ever have. Our friendship for 3 years is the most wonderful one. You are the one that keep me spirited. You are so sweet. But one day you told me that you were afraid that you will fall in love with me. Now I am begging deep from my heart, please friend don’t fall in love with me because I can’t love you back. There are plenty beautiful girl out there who can give you love. I don’t like competition so I will watch you with a smile.

Thank you for your care. To love someone, I don’t trust myself to love anyone yet. After 3 times, I will call it off, it hurt me so much and I’m in pain.

BANK

2011-04-04T01:44:00.001-07:00

Aku rasa lah kan… Aku rasa lah yang sebenarnya orang-orang bank ni tak tetap pendirian dan prinsip dia orang kucar-kacir. Mungkin sebab dia orang meniaga jadi nak tarik perhatian manusia dia orang kena sentiasa berubah-ubah. Tak malar langsung tapi pandai memanipulasi orang, outcome dia of course lah entah hape-hape.

Aku dah ter'fakap' dengan bank minggu ni, tengok lah 28 April ni which is 24 days left, bila dah cair tabungan pendidikan tu aku pegi beli blackberry 3G CURVE. HAHAHA.

Tapi bila fikir balik aku nak pakai blackberry untuk apa?? BBM?? Okay lah sebab macam hampir semua orang pakai Blacberry kat sini, perlu lah aku mengikut perkembangan semasa kan.

Taubat dah aku PHOBIA dengan bank and bankers sekalian. Mulut dan kata-kata manis tapi... pandai memanipulasi sungguh mereka nih. Pada adik-adik yang kena call dengan bank dan dia orang offer tabungan pendidikan tu, tak payah gatal-gatal cakap ‘YES’ sebab benda tu ada bunga, secara tak langsung ada RIBA sekali, aku ni baru tersedar dan baru terngadah nak cancel tapi bank tu cakap “No miss, you can’t, our term and condition have change”.

Lepas ter’fakap’ dengan bank ni, jangan harap pasni aku nak kawin dengan BANKER, tak kira lah kerani bank, pegawai bank, accountant hatta enyapu sampah bank pon. Mereka ni pandai manipulasi keadaan. This is my point of view about bank and bankers okay and they’re absolutely clueless about how science person like me “THINK”.

BETTER

2011-04-01T16:18:00.001-07:00

I feel better now, thanks for all the support. Later lets post about the happy good story okay. Cats, my birthday surprise, owh owh I almost forgot, flawless face... Next time kay.

TODAY

2011-04-01T04:51:00.001-07:00

I was late today, but nobody knows what are the stories inside my heart right now. When someone asked, “Kenapa lambat tehah? Bagi kucing makan ke?” I just can smile. There a lot in my mind right now, I can’t think straight, I’m afraid when I answer their question I will burst into tears. I am not okay, until when I don’t know... maybe it just 1,2,3 days, a week, a month or months... or maybe years... Biar masa yang tentukan.

I know this is my choice, I shouldn’t cry. I have to be strong, forgive and forget. But guess what, I feel like dying right now, I am damage inside, all I can think now is how to survive from this test. HIS tests for me are too strong, but HE will not test me first if I can’t encounter them kan, from HIM I seek mercy and forgiveness.

THE BEST CHOICE

2011-03-31T08:47:00.001-07:00

Well do not mind things that I wrote yesterday. I was angry and sad. I talked to him, and I think this is the best choice and this is the best for both of us. If we are fate to be together than in the future I do hope we meet in a good condition, he achieve his dream and I achieve my dream.

I promise my brother that I will not involve in love relationship with any guy until I get my degree (degree maybe dapat tahun depan), ermm or until I finish my study, hipocrates oath, bla bla bla. Senang cerita nanti bila dah balik Malaysia dengan sesungguhnya.

To you mister, I hope you will get the best in your life. May ALLAH swt bless you always. I’m not doing this because my love to you is fading away but I do this because... you know the best the answer.

It focus time. I have to get back to my long lost track.

paperKELIP : Pedih bijik mata nanges pon tak akan bawak balik kita ke zaman silam. Be tough kay. Owh by the way, the reason is “I don’t mix business with love matter” my business is to study, love after study, I’m at ease now.

WINNER

2011-03-30T08:17:00.001-07:00

I won’t claim myself as a winner, but in fact I’m the winner. You are so busted Mr.Pabo. When you see this face again, it will smile to you and please stop hoping that the owner of this smile will touch by your sweet dreamy word. Well actually Mr. Pabo, she never fall from head to toe over you. No she will never ever ever, it just love hormone that growing up in the owner body. If you ever say that she is a fool, well she is a fool but she is BRAVE enough to say, “we are done here. GOODBYE”.

Well readers (if I have lah), I’m officially single now, but I’m not gonna delete the older post about my ex-bf, this blog I dedicate to post about my past. My Piece of Soul. Well if you see the sweetness in this relationship, it is sweet but it just our hormones that make it look sweet. I never find my true love, not yet. Oneday I will find it, from now on I have to focus on my study. Owh, we breaking up because my result is not so good last semester, jangan fikir bukan-bukan (maybe this is not the real reason, you just have to guess, you are clever anyway, tak payah terang pon korang dah taw). I think I have made a good step, wise, brave, and cool. I am not sad, no feeling at all. I’m heartless anyway so there I go, I am not gonna continue this so called “Blur-vision-no future-relationship”. Dah tahu tak akan menjadi kita break je lah. Tak susah pon. Lagi pun, my brother cakap, “Bagus lah, tak payah lah caye sangat kat laki time tengah study ni”. Abang yang sangat overprotective amat disayangi aku.

By the way, I have a p/s for this girl, I’m glad dear that you not end up with him, like I say, I’m the one who can handle him, yes I did handle him. I’m glad dear, I don’t want you to feel like the way I feel. Be happy with your boyfriend ok. Dear I did teach him a lesson, I hope he will change, maybe in my dream lah kan, but at least I try.

Okay readers, let the reason be buried in my heart only. I love riddle.

paperKELIP : Beware the stare of Mary Shaw, She has no children only dolls, but if you see her in your dream, never ever scream (death silence)... Entah betul ke tak poem tu. hehe.

CARELESS WHISPER

2011-03-30T04:40:00.001-07:00

Well maybe she was lying or maybe not. But I choose to believe because I want to believe, I will not mad if it turn out that she telling me lie. By the way I am relieve now, I am free once again. Maybe this is my last opportunity from the word freedom, I will use it wise. Gomawo to who ever you are girl. I mean it.

STOP

2011-03-30T00:40:00.001-07:00

STOP

I will stop, no I am stopping now, stop from my head to toe. It such a waste of time if I continue this nightmare.

paperKELIP : Cool shoes

YOU ARE THE BEST

2011-03-27T07:14:00.001-07:00

(deviantart)

Today a friend of mine, who I adore and respect text me a message. Actually I text her first, because I miss her. She’s the one who I love as a friend text me :

“Tika titis air mata jatuh ke bumi, biarlah hanya Allah swt yang mengetahui, kerana hanya Dia penyembuh luka pemberi bahagia kepada hati dan naluri. Sedikit yang bermanfaat lebih baik dari banyak yang melalikan. Ujian Allah datang hanya kasih-Nya kepada hamba-Nya, agar iman terus meningkat, hati semakin dekat, dan jiwa lebih akrab dengan-Nya”

She is my motivator, my inspire. I love you so much my friend, sahabat ku.

paperKELIP : I love you not specifically for the boyfriend right?

WORKOUT!!!

2011-03-26T08:47:00.001-07:00

(workout)

I love to workout, it make me feel good and fresh. I can release all my tension when I workout. I sweat a lot, I feel healthy, I feel fit. I can run faster now. Build up my stamina yang terhegeh-hegeh ni. By the way, I used to be fit, but after a long time me not doing any exercising I gain weight and my stamina is down. Macam mana nak study dengan hebat kalau stamina takde, So one day, someone show me this website www.bodyrock.tv and the owner of this website is a couple, they show us how to workout at home and how to eat well. The girl name Zuzuna, she has a fit body, muscle sume tu tapi muscle dia tak buruk dan tak nampak macam lelaki.

I’m doing this workout not because I like to have a muscle but to burn some of my excess fat especially thigh area and my oblique. Exercise about 3 times a week good for your health at least when the lift is full and I have to climb the stairs I can reach the 6th floor without any trouble. Hehe.

Take care of your body and then you can take care of others. Betul tak??

paperKELIP : Lately I have a strange dream.

ABSES GINGIVA et causa DIABETES MELITUS

2011-03-19T14:53:00.001-07:00

New semester just begin, I was sort to D7 group, new group again for this semester. Right now we are in Blok 23 : Special Sense (Penginderaan), we have to learn about Mata, Telinga Hidung dan Tenggorokan (THT), and Gigi Mulut (Gilut).

The first PBL’s done, my group got this case "Abses Gingiva et causa DM" and the second PBL will be on this Tuesday. Wish me luck kay!!! ^^

Okay, Diabetes Melitus (Kencing Manis) is really a frightening disease, high blood sugar in your body, insulin deficiency, macam-macam. Banyak komlikasi dan salah satunya Abses Gingiva. What the hell is Abses Gingiva nih?? Well Abses means ada nanah/pus, gingiva is ‘GUSI’. Orang yang ada DM ni akan ada nanah kat dalam gusi dia, dan dia tak tahu sebab takdelah keluar nanah sebijik-sebijik dari gusi. Dalam kasus aku dia cakap ada pembengkakan pada gusi dan tempat bengkak tu berubah-ubah. Maybe bila gosok gigi, gusi berdarah kan. Kenapa orang DM ni boleh kena sakit gusi ni?? Sebab kadar gula darah dia tinggi. Nak terang panjang-panjang macam buat makalah PBL plak.

So kesimpulan yang aku nak kasi tahu adalah, cegah lah diri anda dari kena DM ni, bahaya, banyak komplikasi, rumit, susah nak ubat dia, kena selalu kontrol, nak makan pon kena diet-diet DM, hipoglikemi tak boleh, hiperglikemi pon tak boleh. Till then~

paperKELIP : jealous dengan kawan-kawan yang pergi SuSHOW 3!!!

SAD LOVE STORY

2011-03-18T12:50:00.001-07:00

deviantart

At last, he is Jacob, you are Edward and I am Bella. And at the end Edward will come back to Bella, Bella have to choose between Edward and Jacob, and Edward is chosen, poor Jacob. But Bella love the two of them, the only different is she loves Edward as a lover and Jacob only just a friend.

He understand. He is the best. He is a friend. He is warm. He is mystery. But he just Jacob.

Bella, she try to forget, erase Edward but she can’t. Edward you have to take care of Bella more.

paperKELIP : Saya tak matang!

THANKS

2011-03-17T10:06:00.001-07:00

Thanks to you for become one of my important person in my life. I hope you eat well, sleep well, and more stable after this. I miss you. We have our own responsibility, I understand. I will wait for you, if you need me just come to me, I will share you my strength, comfort you. I’m not going to disturb you with my stupidity anymore, I will just wait quietly and do my own thing like a baby with her toy. I promise you.

Till then dear, see you around again after this, just remember that I love you.

paperKELIP : talk show on mute by incubus...

GOODBYE… GOODBYE… GOODBYE…

2011-03-15T08:52:00.001-07:00

Goodbye... Goodbye... Goodbye... My love... I have to go and leave you alone, but always know that I love you so.. Take care of yourself.

Darling, pretty please face the day because today is not yesterday, I wish you could be happy instead because it nothing else I can do but love you the best as I can... You are not the one who’s been through, me too have been there alone, so are you... Its not your fault, so pretty please wipe your tears and put up your head.

paperKELIP : Sabtu lepas kami pergi PUNCAK!!

PK,PBL,INTEGRASI,RESULT dan BIG BANG

2011-03-11T06:06:00.001-08:00

Jumaat, 11 March 2011, am I forgotten?? The answer probably YES, mengaku je lah.

Today, I was in the middle of “KELAM KABUT”, my day was a chaos today. I have to reseat the PK’s exam (alaa exam yang aku miss tu) first thing in the morning. The exam was ‘okay’, cukup-cukup makan untuk lulus boleh kot. Tak susah, tapi aku yang pelupa, apa itu morfologi dari eosinafil, basofil dan monosit serta nilai normal untuk result dari pemeriksaan hematokrit. See, senang kan? Aku yang lupa walaupun dah hafal bermati-matian (hmmm). Okay aku harap soalan lain aku betul.

‘Lepak-lepak’ in the library to finish up my Pbl’s presentation with my friend, Lina. Then, someone told us, the Semester 5 result is out. Well sem 5 is not my luck probably, or maybe I can’t cope with the new system, well this sem 6 I will do it my best. I sill have to “bersyukur”, thank GOD, at least I still have my ‘rezeki’ left. Promise after this I will wake up early to solat subuh. Always late, anak dara apelah ni. Ish3. Then, Lina and I plan my study plan, what to do, I have to clean all the block in sem 6 and 7, if not… I CAN! ish jangan fikir bukan-bukan. If the senior say those blocks are like “HELL” then I have to put myself in hell and study like HELL too. WE CAN… I am confidence I can conquer this new system, have to left the old study style, can’t study like before, with the new system, the old one is outdated. Tak boleh pakai. I say this because, the last block, I can say I am proud of myself for the result that I got. Ingat senang ke nak lulus dengan tak dapat C dalam block Neuroscience huh??? Sebab study system berkelompok dan berbincang-bincang dengan my mates, I think I have to do this more.

Owh, after the PBL, we have to wait for 4 hours before the Integrasi. The exam suppose to be held at 4.30 pm, but… ermm it started at 4.45 pm, HELL YES I was tired, my brain can’t function normally and the questions, I did use a lot of bullets. I have to. Respirasi 7 was like 2 years ago, we don’t expect the questions changed to new one. Yes!

Back home, hugged the cats, listen to Big Bang. The disco rhythm somehow sooth me. At least I can forget about certain thing especially you. I am sad.

paperKELIP : Mata, THT, GILUT here I come!

A CALL

2011-03-10T09:04:00.001-08:00

WAiting for a call that will never coming, especially today on 10 of March. No incoming call, feel pathetic.

paperKELIP : PK and PBL 7, good luck babe.

CATs

2011-03-10T06:31:00.001-08:00

The only thing that keep me happy are my cats. Not him, them or else.

SILLY MISTAKE

2011-03-09T01:44:00.001-08:00

(deviantart)

Today is history. Everyday is history. Today my life near the edge. Mengada-ngada.

One silly mistake can change your destiny… ermm can change or lead your day to, bad day. Macam bad hair day gitu, sebab rambut kusut habis hari pon kusut. Disastrous.

Take my experience as a teacher okay adik-adik dan kawan-kawan, today I am suppose to seat an exam (Patologi Klinik 8) and this is the last Short Sem for PK 8, what happen is, I am too “PEDE” (Percaya Diri)/confident that the exam will start at 11 am, unfortunately, I was wrong, the exam suppose to start at 9.20 am. Okay fine, you can laugh, or say I am stupid. That ok, I am stupid enough, not asking other my classmate, and go blindly.

After the hardship and my passion tak kira ribut yang menghalang, ulang-alik dari rumah ke kampus, buat muka kesian kat dosen, kena makan kerepek 40 bakul dengan dosen pengajar, akhirnya aku dapat duduk ujian tu hari jumaat jam 7.30 pagi. Alhamdulillah.

Many thanks to my housemates who are willing to help me, “bikin surat izin” to the dosen. Sayang korang lebih! I hope after this, you will not the silly mistake that I made today, “SALAH TENGOK JADUAL”. This is silly enough and stupid. But yet ALHAMDULILLAH.

paperKELIP : saya tak kesah lah awak.

LOVE… GELI…

2011-03-08T02:50:00.001-08:00

Sebelum baca apa yang aku nak update kat dalam post ni. korang wajib baca ini dulu, Kenapa dan bagaimana Kita boleh jatuh cinta dan Don't Love The One Who Love You by Mr. K. Entry dia bagus dan banyak point-point menarik dan dapat buka pandangan sempit aku nih dengan lebih luas.

First, yeah love is just another hormone, Dopamine, Phenylethylamine. Aku belajar dalam farmako pasal reseptor dopamine, ubat-ubat dia jer tak taw plak Dopamine ni hormon cinta, kalau kajian psikiatrik plak, Dopamine terlebih tu orang yang ada gannguan jiwa, skizophrenia bagai. Okay straight to the point, let say you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, sayang gilos lah kat Bf/Gf korang ni kan, sampai tidur tak lena, mandi tak basah whatever lah. Geli aku. And then one day, dia dah macam bosan dengan korang, hurmm love kan is about hormone, makin kurang hormone makin kurang cinta, hey you can’t change that, so “JUST LEAVE” ok, leave dengan cara yang baik, tak perlu gaduh-gaduh. Nanti kalau lama-lama couple orang dah tak sayang kat kita, kita terasa, sakit hati, blah jer. That means, he/she don’t deserve you and you can’t make him/her happy, annoy lagi adalah kan. Tapi kalau tak nak lepaskan dia, dah sayang sangat ni, memang dia lah satu-satunya dalam hidup, cuba tarik hati dia balik, buat dia jatuh cinta dengan anda balik. Lagipun, mestilah dia (esp lelaki) yang confess dulu kan. Tak boleh jugak, solat istikarah yer kawan-kawan, sebab apa yang kita rasa terbaik untuk kita tak semestinya yang terbaik, dan apa yang kita rasa kita tak nak itu lah yang terbaik. Dan tak perlulah nak geli-geli dengan orang yang dah bosan dengan korang ok.

Memang lah nanti korang cakap, senang jer cakap cuba jadi kat diri sendiri. Hurmm bak kata kajian hormon-hormon ni, hormone cinta dah kurang, apa boleh buat, aku pun pernah rasa, dua kali, mungkin kali ke-3 bakal terjadi. Siapa tahu kan. Let say, yang ke-3 terjadi, dia bosan dengan aku sebab aku mengada-ngada, dah tak cute kat mata dia, dah kurang hormon-hormon tu kat aku, well we ain’t married yet babeh, tak salah salah seorang nak walk out dulu, or one day dia confess, dia dah bosan. Aku terima. Okay fine. maybe ada nanges-nanges gak, tapi-tapi ingat ni girls, dia bukan suami, dia hanya persinggahan untuk korang jumpa dengan bakal suami, sebab itu lah korang couple lah dengan 10 orang, 100 orang pon, suami sorang jer. Dan aku tak cakap korang boleh couple then clash sesuka hati. Better ak payah lah couple kalau takut sakit hati lepas clash, kawin jer terus. Aku ni memamg tegar, tiada perasaan sangat, sakit hati kejap pastu lupa, “eh apa ko dah buat kat aku? Lupa lah” aku macam ni.

Actually, korang ni “living in a world of fairytales” lah kalau asyik nak benda-benda indah yang sementara ni, sometimes kena lah jugak hidup dalam dunia “anime/manga” walaupun tak berapa nak reality sangat, at least dalam dunia anime tu dia orang face dengan kesusahan, berusaha itu penting. Bila jatuh bangun balik. Bab-bab cinta ni remeh-temeh jer, jangan amek port sangat, yang penting pengajaran dari kisah cinta tu sendiri. Okay.

Kesimpulannya, kalau yang ke-3 tak menjadi dalam hidup aku, which is hormon ni akan berkurang dan hilang, dia pilih orang lain, aku tunggu je lah orang masuk meminang. See, orang tua suka, aku pon boleh terima. Daripada geli-geli tapi tak membuahkan hasil. Korang pilih yang mana? Three is enough untuk buat aku serik dan dah, aku pon dah malas, jalan mudah tunggu je, kalau takde ‘its okay’ (sambil telan air liur).

paperKELIP : owh GELI dengan entry ni, tapi inilah isi hati aku sekarang. Harap aku dapat praktekkan.

iPOD

2011-03-07T23:36:00.001-08:00

Assalamualaikum… Hye everyone…

Zaman era globalisasi sekarang ni mesti korang ada macam-macam gadget yang best-best kan, ipad, itouch, iphone, ipod, blackberry, android, laptop pelbagai fungsi etcetra etcetra bagai. Well dunia zaman sekarang kena maju, kalau tak nanti ketinggalan zaman.

Setakat aku hidup dalam era globalisasi ni, 3 gadget jer yang aku simpan sampai sekarang, ipod nano 5th generation kaler orange, laptop yang dah berjasa 3 tahun dan tak akan aku tukar selagi dia tak mampos dan handset sony ericsson yang aku pakai tak tukar-tukar since aku form five. Setia tak aku. Haha.

ipod nano aku, aku nobatkan dan rate kepentingan dia dalam list “as my number one gadget”, 2nd laptop dan 3rd handset aku. Kenapa ipod nano dan bukan handset no 1? Dan kenapa nano bukan touch or iphone? deyy syukur taw tak. Alasan dia sebab itouch besar gabak, nak masuk dalam pocket seluar tak muat sebab aku sumbat earphone 24 hours dan aku akan pasang ipod nih lebih kurang 18 jam sehari. Time workout aku pasang, jalan kaki kuliah aku pasang, tidur pon aku pasang, study aku pasang (wajib kalau tak ilmu tak masuk). Bayangkan kalau itouch aku bawak time workout, beban, susah lah. Tapi insya-ALLAH ada duit lebih nak beli iPHONE, ganti enset buruk, at least ada iphone boleh main-main game, ada application medic, tak menyusahkan. Owh owh berangan.

Laptop sangat penting sebab takde laptop tak boleh online, I mana ada handset canggih-canggih nak online. Heee~ okay kalau ada handset canggih tapi tiada laptop macam mana nak settlekan PBL yang menyusahkan tu setiap blok kan. So selain dari beronline dengan laptop, ia juga berguna untuk aku siapkan PBL, makalah bagai, nak-nak sem 6 ni dah start ada 2 PBL dalam 1 blok (senior yang cakap), so laptop ni penting. Untuk online, assignment, movie dan main game. Penting, nombor 2 jer sebab laptop aku tak mobile macam ipod, mana ada orang workout pakai laptop, okay fine, kalau buat aerobic tengok laptop. Whatever. Jogging tak bawak laptop.

Handset cikai, no 3 jer, mentang-mentang dia cikai tehah ko kasi 2nd up runner je kat dia. pffttt. Bukan bias, okay apa fungsi handset? For communication of course, calling and messaging. Right. Tapi, kat Indonesia ni, siapa yang aku nak message-message? Nak Calling-calling? Haram jadah takde sorang pon melainkan ada benda penting. Bak kata aku yang kat atas tadi, era globalisasi babe, YM ada, Facebook, Twitter. Haaa ada medium yang lagi senang nak berkomunikasi, free lagi, apa guna bayar fastnet mahal-mahal tapi tak dimanfaatkan. Okay fine, aku loser sebab takde orang call or message, tunggu samapi berjanggut (which is impossible) pon “orang tu” tak akan message or call. Okay aku loser lah kan, but who cares? I don’t give it a damn pon, well baka kata Mr. K mulut lelaki macam bullshit, haha dia yang cakap. Actually jimat credit aku sebab boleh aku call abah, mama, adik aku. Hehe. Penting lah jugak handset cikai ni, kalau takde handset ni, internet laju tahap ferrari pon, kalau ayah aku rindu aku, nak dengar suara anak perempuan kesayangan dia, dan internet yang pakai berukband memang macam haram kat Malaysia tu memang tak akan mampulah nak menghubungkan anak dan ayah ni. So handset aku hanya untuk call dan message ahli keluarga aku. Sayang Korang!

Apa-apa pon, memang ipod nano 5th generation kaler orange tu adalah nombor 1. Ini semua hanyalah pendapat aku jer, lain orang lain lain pendapat kan. Peeps~

Enjoy the song… Especially for you :

paperKELIP : I WILL NOT. TRY ME…

DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?

2011-03-06T03:32:00.001-08:00

Do I have to say it? That I am the happiest person on earth when you call me, text me and chatting with me… Do I?

And do I have to say it that I am the most excited girl when you online?

Do I have to? Napeun namja… Ebabo… mehh..

paperKELIP : I don’t wanna know and I don’t care, but it end up I wanna know and I care. Ironic.

ZAFIRLUKAST

2011-03-05T02:56:00.001-08:00

Zafirlukast is a medication for asthma. It’s not a person name so don’t name your son, daughter, niece or nephew with zafirlukast.

GET IT??? This is ZAFIRLUKAST…

paperKELIP : Sebab ak dengar ada orang nak letak nama anak dia dengan Zafirlukast. Hehe.

SEVERE

2011-03-03T06:54:00.001-08:00

The damage that I caused is too severe, I don’t have any confident if I can fix it back to normal state. I lost my equilibrium.

paperKELIP : I can’t do it.

LESSON

2011-03-02T13:29:00.001-08:00

I learn my lesson tonight… I think I can’t lie to myself anymore, I have to be true, genuine to myself. I can’t stand it when I break his heart, I even can’t watch him to suffer because of me or for what I said. He is so precious and I can’t lie to myself. I can’t lie and pretend like he is nothing to me. I can’t lie to myself that I am REALLY LOVE him. I love you… I wish I can say it out loud so you can hear me. I can’t pretend or lie. I’m not a good liar.

Damn it… All my effort to be as cold as snow, feelingless, are waste of time. With tears I’m writing this so damn post.

paperKELIP : Lukman Nulhakim…

14 FEBRUARY

2011-02-13T09:22:00.001-08:00

14 Feb 2007-14 Feb 2011, it has been 4 years from now. All I can is, rest in peace my darling, my love, my inspiration, my model, my one and only mother who gave birth to me. The one who always taught me about life, my beautiful mother.

Even I cry like crazy now, it can’t bring you back to me. I will always love you eternally. My beloved one. Even he can’t replace you as my lover. I love you so much.

Mama, even now I still can’t let you go, what can I do? I am not as tough as you. I love you. R.I.P.

FAVOURITE WORST NIGHTMARE…

2011-02-09T03:07:00.001-08:00

Siapa-siapa kat sini yang suka atau minat gila kat Arctic Monkeys mesti taw kan. One of their album, to be precise their 2nd album. But I am not talking about them here. Heee~

I think that 'wanna be and act cute' is not my style, I tried to do that and suddenly I feel "MENYAMPAH" dengan diri sendiri, you know, rockers tomboyish girl like me can never act cute. Just be myself lah senang cerita. Comot, messy, jeans, high heel, sneaker, wedges (I love shoes babe, mereka sangat cool, especially kasot yang orang tak kan pandang dan pakai) and muka buruk. I can say my everyday life is my "FAVOURITE WORST NIGHTMARE".

Entry neh takde motif pon. teeeheee~

paperKELIP : Novel, any suggestion? English k.A

RABU KHAMIS JUMAAT EXAMMM

2011-02-08T07:30:00.001-08:00

Blok 22 dan sem 5 dah nak sampai ke penghujung, dengan sistem baru saya punya prestasi pun beransur cemerlang gemilang terbilang, terima kasih UKRIDA jasamu dikenang (sarcasm).

Kepada student FK UKRIDA batch 2008, semoga Jumaat ni menjanjikan pengakhiran yang membahagiakan (doa banyak2) dan kepada yang ter"REMED" blok 22 (aku lah tu) LET's DO IT babeh! jangan biarkan UKRIDA fikir kita tak boleh jadi "IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING" seperti mereka, hehehe (bahasa memang tak bole blah).

Owh. lupa, minggu depan kita ada 2 skills lab, dua-dua skills lab nih memang sangat lah mencabar jiwa dan raga sebab nak kena wawancara psikiatris dan refleks patologis pada orang yang sakit neurologis (tak macam dulu dah beb, main ketuk-ketuk kaki terangkat sendiri).

Owh lepas dah habis semua nih, saya nak ajar anda semua cara-cara nak dapatkan "FLAWLESS SKIN" macam artis-artis tu, sabar yer kawan-kawan (am I sound fishy, whatever).

paperKELIP : nyamuk di jakarta memang ganas-ganas.

SAD SCENE

2011-02-03T06:56:00.001-08:00

When I watch a sad scene in korean drama, I will crying because this is the only reason why I can cry without no one asking, “Why are you crying tehah?” At least my answer won’t be “it because of you that I cry”. If you read this, I don’t want to cry but when I start thinking of you I will cry, usually I will hold this tears from coming out until the sad scene.

paperKELIP : I’m confident i can…

DATING DATING

2011-01-29T10:53:00.001-08:00

Today I had a date! YEAH A DATE! But of course lah not with my Lukman, but with Atik. Kecoh je kan padahal dengan houssie sndiri. Its ok, for me the best date is with your girlfriend, better than your boyfriend. Hanging out with girlfriend much more fun than a boyfriend. I can feel the awkwardness when I’m with him. Taw je lah kan kami duduk jauh-jauh, jarang jumpa, setahun jumpa sekali je. Jadi suami saya dulu yer baru saya tak awkward dengan kamu. :p

Okayh, back to the main topic, today we went to do a facial, body scrub and massage (Atik tak wat pon) after that we went to Taman Anggrek Mall to do some shopping! But before shopping we ate at PANCIOUS, Atik nak makan Carbonara, Chessy giler carbonara tu. Ada Midnite sales kat Matahari, ramai giler manusia. I bought new wedges, which is MURAH! 1ook per pair. Have to buy it, coz’ my most favorite lovey dovey wedges is…. Tskkk… taknak cakap lah sedih jer.

(me and atik)

Okay I know the last pic is like. “WHAT?????, she is crazy” and blabla “Narciss”. But thanks to Raihan, her SLR capture this crazy moment and she edit it like I’m the COSMOPOLITAN cover girl. Teeheeee…. Yeah… I am not beautiful or pretty like you all, but I am glad :)

paperKELIP : When your ex buzz and message you more than your boyfriend did… Ironic kan?

TEST

2011-01-26T11:21:00.001-08:00

I’m just testing you dear.

Sorry if I’m frighten you to death.

I can act like a crazy betch sometimes.

NEVER…! I SWEAR…

2011-01-25T13:39:00.001-08:00

I swear with all my heart I won’t do it again. Never ever. My effort is not appreciated. GBU.

paperKELIP : Fikir-fikir renung-renung balik, nasihat dan ilmu Halim cam tak menjadi jer. Harus bersabar lagi.

JIWANG JIWANG

2011-01-24T07:06:00.001-08:00

Hey guys… Okay I don’t know how to be a “JIWANG” person, but I really wanna deliver this feeling to someone, ececeh…

Coz’ I can never be “JIWANG” to him, and I don’t like to act gedik, cutesy in front of him, coz’ I always look ugly when I’m with him, and coz’ I always to do silly thing when I’m with him (I don’t purposely do it) and I’m not myself when he’s around me. So I like to dedicate this song to him. I hope he will passing by to my blog and touch by my little effort nih. Hehe. Bebeh IlebiU lah! This song called “I’m in love” with two version, Male and Female.

paperKELIP : pack with classes, PBL… Busy week…

PIRATE EYE MUCH…??

2011-01-22T07:13:00.001-08:00

Agak nyer lah kan aku ni memang ditakdrkan untuk mengalami masalah mata.

Okay minggu lepas, mata kiri aku ditumbuhi ketimbit kat palpebra, pehtu mata kanan aku dah rasa semacam tapi tak bengkak-bengkak pon, lama-lama rasa sakit kat dua-dua bijik mata aku nih hilang.

Tapi, tup-tup semalam masa aku tengok-tengok dalam cermin, wadahel la mata kanan aku nih merah sebelah bawah, belek punya belek, DEMMMM! Ada bijik kaler merah dalam mata bawah aku, cam haemorrhage plak aku rasa dalam mata nih… An escape of blood from rupture blood vessel, hehe suka suki jer cakap haemorrhage.

Peh kelas Dr. Rimawati (T_T) pagi tadi, aku pon naek angkot (2 ribu jer dol, klu nek taksi berganda2 kot) berangkat ke Sepital Siloam, minta jumpa Sp.mata. Aku mintak nak jumpa dengan Dr.Kelvin sebab housemet aku, Ainaa cakap dia bagus. Ramai gak lah pasien Dr,Kelvin nih, aku orang yang ke-14, kena tunggu lagi 8 orang (sib bek ada ipod). Menurut pemerhatian aku, semua pasien-pasien Dr.Kelvin ni kanak-kanak yang nak wat Spec. Kecik dah ada masalah mata, kesian korang.

Tiba lah giliran aku, dia tak wat anamnesis sangat pon sebab dalam record aku memang sume pasal masalah mata, dia suh duduk, tanya kenapa, aku cakap ada bijik kaler merah dalam mata, terus dia minta aku duk kat tempat cek-cek mata tu, dia cakap ada bisul dalam mata aku dan dia nak wat incision. Gilo, incision camno lah aku nak balik sensorang nek angkut ngn mata pirate?? Mula-mula aku hesitate gak lah, tapi kalau tak wat nanti lagi melarat bole jadi tumor. Pastu dia tanya aku “Kenapa sih ramai anak malaysia kena bisul dalam mata??”, “Apa makanan nya ato udara nya ya yang ga cocok?” Mano lah den taw, aku bantai jer sume makanan dulu, dari 1st year smpi 3rd year kat sini udara dia aku hirup ok je (walaupon memang tak bersih-bersih, agak-agak bape kg habuk dalam paru-paru aku sekarang nih…). Aku hanya mampu sengih… Tiada jawapan pasti.

Then he asked me for my permission, fill the form, sign it, the inform consent settled! He start the minor operation on my right eye, anesthesia, "korek” that bijik then put some ointment. DONE! Kejap jer dia buat, dalam 5-6 menit jer. Dia kasi aku 4 obat (3 obat tetes mata, 1 obat antibiotik oral). Dengan mata Jack Sparrow aku blah gi amek ubat, call my houssie, ask them to pick me. Nasib baek lah dua orang yang baik hati ini sudi jemput aku, Tuty dan Raihan,

Actually tak sakit pon masa dia buat tu, tapi bila keluar je dari bilik dia, Ya ALLAH sakit gile mata aku, tuhan jer yang mampu mendengar aku merintih-rintih. Tapi sumer tu kan ujian dari-NYA, aku redha.

(sakit pon senyum)

paperKELIP : Exam mode on…

PEN…

2011-01-20T12:23:00.001-08:00

Of course, if I ask you, “Weyh korunk taw tak pen tu hape??” Confirm everyone know kan.

Well I have this favorite pen, and I like it damn much. One day, my pen fell from my desk and hit the floor like “ketepaqq!!”, owh SH**, the pen was uncapped. Now when I use it, the ink will go ‘ON’ and ‘OFF’, macam mic kat UKRIDA bila nak abes baterai. Sakit hati tak???

paperKELIP : Aku memang annoyed abes lah kalau mic tu nak abes bateri. Seriously…

CLOWN…

2011-01-20T02:29:00.001-08:00

Adalah kan seorang hamba ALLAH s.w.t nih, asal nampak jer aku dia gelak, nampak aku jer gelak, aku tak buat apa-apa pon dia gelak, kalau aku wat apa-apa lagilah dia gelak kan. Haishh… Nasib baik lah aku nih jenis yang “Suke hati kau lah” last-last aku tumpang gelak sekali dengan dia. Just enjoy the moment babe.

Tapi dalam hati kecik aku nih adalah gak terdetik, “Do I look like a CLOWN to you???” or “Am I a super duper epic fail girl in your eye?” Whateverlah. I don’t care coz’ I know, I am really a WHATSOEVER girl, my close friends know it better. So nak taw tahap WHATSOEVER aku nih macam mana, lama-lama nanti you taw lah pastu you mesti dah tak berani gelakkan I dah, Psycho much?

Ermm… CLOWN?? Am I… Whatever…

This is one of the SCARIEST clown… I am not scary okay. Ermm maybe sometime I like to scare people.

paperKELIP : She just a psychopathic girl, she and her delusion, hallucination. Ignore her.

CADBURY!!!

2011-01-18T01:22:00.001-08:00

Today I bought a cadbury at Tomang Tol with Valentine Day packaging.

I am a chocolate maniac especially CADBURY, a chocoholic and you can say I am proud of myself after 5 months aku tak sentuh langsung cadbury! Bangga neh ingat senang kah nak restrict myself from eating CADBURY. Back in MATRIC days, I used to eat CADBURY everyday taw, that was my obsession.

But today, ermm coz’ tomorrow I have exam (exam ker??) and I am a lil’ bit stress, so I bought a CADBURY with Valentine Day packaging ( wadehellohello btol lah Valentine nih). My favourite all time cadbury is Black Forest, sape tak suke black forest, sile angkat tangan, RUGI taw korang.

Cadbury Black Forest sangat sedap sebab dalam chocolate tu ada jelly merah yang rasa sticky dan cam ada biskut dalam tu. SEDAP!

Okay back to the point, aku hengat cadbury yang aku beli tu black forest tapi ghupenyer CASHEW NUT chocolate! Arghhhhh…! Itu lah makanyer before bayar tengok dan periksa betul-betul yer cik Fatehah.

FYI, I can finish the biggest cadbury chocolate in less than one hour..! Okayh pasnih tak bole dah lalu lalang tempat cadbury. Peace out mate :p

paperKELIP : Coward lah you neh… I’m not gonna eat you, and I’m not gonna “HAJAR” you.

RANDOMNESS aka ACAK-ACAK

2011-01-15T12:57:00.001-08:00

Because of cafein intoxication today I can’t sleep for the whole night. Bukan nak study sangat pon bila tak boleh tido nih, makanyer aku telah membuat beberapa percobaan kat gamba-gamba lama, tengok tutorial kat youtube macam mana nak me”LOMO”kan gamba yang kita amek pakai digital camera. Macam lah LOMO sangat kan :D

Tiada lah sangat LOMOGRAPHY nyer… Poyo jer yang kebanyakan…. Well I memang POYO you.

RELIEVE

2011-01-14T05:16:00.001-08:00

If you are in pain,all you have to do is consume a pain-killer, you will feel better after that.

After the exam all the students will sigh… In difference way.

When you have problem you should talk to someone you trust the most. Then you can breathe easily.

paperKELIP : Lady please get out from your cheapness shell and be more classy. Tak boleh pakai lah ko ni, like a leech. Maaf lah tapi aku memang bengang dengan kau.

SAKIT

2011-01-14T01:19:00.001-08:00

Sakit gila hidung aku bila tersedut air masa mandi tadi. Tapi sakit lagi dada aku sekarang neh sesak jer rasa. Sesak cam nak mintak doctor kat SILOAM tu kasi nebulizer pon ada. Apa kes lah aku nih agaknyer. Whatsoever sungguh

Kawan aku nyer kawan ada cakap ;

“ Orang yang sentiasa gembira di siang hari depan orang ramai-ramai sape taw masa tidur dia menangis kan”

So bila nak tidur, jangan dok pikir benda bukan-bukan kay.

paperKELIP : Yeah I can be whatever I want.

BE STRONG!!

2011-01-13T09:29:00.001-08:00

Berapa kali lah aku nak nasehat kat kau wahai teman, buang semua ego kau tu, takde maknenyer. I know that you are really in a deep hole right now girl, just be strong okay.

Hey don’t you remember our promise that we will protect each other if anything bad happen? This time when you are sad, I will be your shoulder to cry on. Even if you are faraway from me, but our heart is together kan.

My lovely girl, I love you so much, be strong darling, keep your head low, and don’t be too stubborn. Sometimes your ego is too high and your stone cold heart really hurt me. I don’t wanna see you cry over something stupid bullstuff thing anymore kay. Be strong my girl.

For you si batu api talam dua muka, how dare you trying to disturb my poor girl. You better back off from her life. Please don’t try to stir someone life. Really.. Haishh chincha your story is one of the biggest fail ever. EPIC FAIL. Macam harremmm je lah weyh. Ada ker patut ko nak “ejas” someone for him when you know he have her? Whatthefilletfishit la. Akaiii ade belajar sampai masuk U tapi still nak buat benda mengarut macam nih. Tu lah fikir pakai kepala lutut. Agaknyer ada yang shot kat mana-mana daerah otak dia. EPIC FAIL lah kau nih.

paperKELIP : Kepada minah the biggest loser epic fail, if I bump into you, make sure to call for your back up. Bodoh tak bertempat gamaknyer kau ni kan.

DELUSIONIST

2011-01-13T02:37:00.001-08:00

Kalau lah aku nih jenis yang tak berbudi bahasa memang lama dah aku pakai curse ngan cussing word yang memang superb gila*tutt*. Akai tarak ka?? Kat lutut?? Asal be***p sangat! S***

Sib baek aku nih jenis yang takde gangguan keperibadian kalau… Ishhh geram aku dengan ngko nih memang dari kecik sampai besar memang ditakdirkan nak menyusahkan aku per?? What a delusionist.

Whathelloanybodyhome betol lah…

Hahaha… Ish kalau aku mencarut-carut macam ni memang gampang lah aku kena tibai free-free dengan bro aku. Takde orang nak angkat jadi menantu. Budi bahsa budaya kita jangan coba-coba perasan nak tunjuk macho carut-carut macam kat atas tu yer adik-adik.

paperKELIP : sejak-sejak belajar ilmu kejiwaan neh banyak halusinasi yang timbul dalam pale otak neh. Mata telinga dok terbayang-bayang harlequin jadi manusia.

DEEP CRUSH

2011-01-12T09:16:00.001-08:00

Serupa tapi tak sama…. Ermmm I think I have a deep crush with them oppps! I’m definitely not a Les**** kay.

paperKELIP : I love you and I just deny it.

GFF FOREVER

2011-01-11T04:31:00.001-08:00

“When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there”

When they around I feel super safe, cuz I know they are the only people that I trust the most beside my family. Lucky to have them here…

I am….

2011-01-09T03:04:00.001-08:00

Garang tak minah nih??? Hahahaha…. Thanks to cik Raihan for the pic.

paperKELIP : Sekarang baru aku taw perasaan minah-minah model macam mana. FUHH.

SO THE DRAMA…

2011-01-09T03:00:00.001-08:00

I just watch this drama, interesting, pretty intense and a sad one, maybe a stereotype one. But I love this scene;

“One day, the girl saw the pics of a girl in his bf phone and a video too. The girl of course lah went mad at him. The guy explained to her that girl was his ex-gf, and that girl just accept it. But she don’t trust him and she will not trust him.”

Maybe this is one of the stupid scene in mellow drama kan. Stereotype one. But, of course lah, who want to believe? Hey if she is your ex, you should just delete it from your phone gallery unless if he still love her and want her back in his life. Pity his gf now, maybe she will think that she is just a replacement of what his lost.

paperKELIP : I know someone in her situation and it really break her heart, even she try to ignore it and try to be optimistic. I think that why she is cold as ice. Pity her.

REALATIONSHIP

2011-01-07T02:51:00.001-08:00

My parents used to say, “ Selama kita hidup, tolonglah jangan lupa untuk solat 5 waktu, mengaji jangan tinggal, jaga hubungan dengan ALLAH swt”.

I will always keep this in my mind, and I hope you the same.

SORRY HEART

2011-01-05T03:46:00.001-08:00

I really love this song…. A sorry heart by Wonder Girls.

Ermm ada sebab kenape aku post lagu nih secara tiba-tiba kat sini. 2 tahun lepas aku dah meremuk redam kan hati seseorang. Kesian dia. I am sorry but I can’t give you my love because I can’t, I did try my best but in the end I end up lying to myself.

You are such a great guy, kind hearted, ‘calon menantu’ and what so ever. Like this song, I have been staying beside you with a sorry heart, but in the end it wasn’t you. Yeah I was mean back then, but do you really want us to keep going when my physic is with you but my heart wasn’t?

I am never forget about you, I feel guilty and I deserve a punishment. I get what I deserve. So, I hope you can be happy, find other girl who love you. We are still friend right??

PAPERkelip : Hidup dengan perasaan bersalah itu salah.

LONG DISTANCE

2011-01-04T08:18:00.001-08:00

I wanna be your lover, your girlfriend. But the most precious thing that I want is, I just wanna be your bestfriend who you can rely on, who you can trust, who you can tell me all your story. I will just listen to you, help you when I can and comfort you when you sad or sick. You are welcome to cry on my shoulder because we are bestfriend, that my job. I will always stay by your side. You can count on me like 1,2,3…

Even if I am in pain after you tell me all the stories, I will stay strong because I love you, we are bestfriend anyway. So let me be your bestfriend, I am trying my best to accept all the truth from you.

This long distance is killing me.

paperKELIP : Aku rasa aku dah naik giler kot tahun baru nih! BONGEK…

INSECURE

2011-01-04T01:50:00.001-08:00

Why do I have to feel like this?? Am I love you that much? stupid babo Fatehah.

I hate this feeling, its like someone trying to kill my soul, slowly I am dying. Maybe I just paranoid. Everything going to be alright kan?

LA’ TAHZAN

2011-01-02T06:20:00.000-08:00

“Piece of soul, lets the past buried here, because the past is the past”

Well I always trying to convince myself that I can’t look back into the past and try to concern on the present. Until I realise actually I can’t forget the past. I have to forget it and it a must.

The worst is, I keep bother myself with someone else’s past. That person past is really bothering me, I wish to know all of its but I can’t stand it. Annoying and frustrating right?? I wish I don’t have a feeling like normal people so that I will not trap in this situation.

Sometime I hate myself for being like this. This is so stupid and childish. Digging the past is like digging your own grave, and jump into it. Its really ‘appa’.

paperKELIP : I guess I can’t give it all my heart to you, I am afraid.

GOODBYE 2010 & HAPPY NEW YEAR

2011-01-02T05:48:00.001-08:00

2010 just waving their goodbye flag and here its come 2011. That mean I am 22 this year. WOW!!

2010 was awesome, and sometime I can feel pain, 2010 taught me a lot of lesson, how to life and in 2010 finally I can open my heart to love someone. I guess I can’t be Snow Queen forever, or I can be SQ if something happen. Am I right?

Welcome 2011, I wish I can be stronger this year, because this year going to be the toughest year ever. Have to struggle with my study, and with my own self.

paperKELIP : Even I can’t but I have to.

SECRET GARDEN

2010-12-21T13:35:00.001-08:00

Okay this is the Korean Drama that I watch and currently aired, SECRET GARDEN. I can’t sleep and Ida just off to airport, to fill my time before Subuh prayer I will give a review about this drama. Next time I will write a review of Mary Stayed All Night plak kay.

Okay pernah tengok movie atau filem ‘Its a Boy Girl Thing’ tak? Movie yang cerita pasal swapping body antara budak laki dengan budak perempuan tu. Yeah Secret Garden (SG) nih lebih kurang macam tu lah tapi yang ni drama dan dalam bahasa korea.

Cerita ni pasal sorang mamat CEO ni, Kim Jo Won, dia sangat lah mulut laser, suatu hari sepupu dia mintak tolong dia settlekan masalah dengan scandal sepupu dia, tapi dia tersalah orang, perempuan yang dia salah amek ni stuntwoman, nak jadi cerita laki nih terpikat dengan perempuan ni, tapi taw lah kan stuntwoman, perangai pon STUNT jer. Dan suatu hari, masa dorang sesat dalam hutan, dorang jumpa satu restoran dalam hutan tu, makan kat situ, makcik restoran tu kasi dorang minuman, dorang minum, the next day dorang dah tukar badan. So nak tak nak dorang kenalah teruskan hidup dan masa nih banyak benda kelakar jadi at the same time dorang jadi rapat. Tapi dalam 3 episod jer dorang tukar badan. Lepas dah tukar balik, lelaki CEO tu try buat macam-macam nak jumpa dengan Stuntwoman tu.

Okay sekarang kat TV dah episod 12, tapi yang ada sub baru sampai episod 10, nak tunggu sub rasa cam berjanggut jer, eh bukan berjanggut tapi rasa cam dari zaman batu lari ke zaman sekarang jer jarak dia. Haish.

Ermm… cerita ni best sebab Ha Ji Won berlakon, Ha Ji Won adalah actress korea pertama yang aku suka, sebab dia bagi aku sangat pandai bawak watak yang dia pegang, dah lah cantik.

Korang kalau tengok drama korea pernah tak episode pertama dan kedua rasa cam bosan? Okay drama nih aku bole kasi GUARANTEE yang episode pertama dan kedua dia tak bosan. Sebab ape? tengok lah sendiri…. :p

Seriously and frankly, drama ni buat aku teringat kat dia, sebab dia punya perangai sama cam CEO nih. Mulut laser, pastu banyak alasan dia guna untuk tarik perhatian minah tu walaupun minah tu tak layan or marah. Suka buat orang marah dia. Well dear, you are the best at making me angry and mad, but you are the best in loving me too. Kamsahamnida :p

DAMN COLD!!

2010-12-21T11:03:00.001-08:00

Tonight as usual, I still have this INSOMNIA when it come to holiday. Tonight is the coldest night and hugging my pink teddy is the best. Harlequin is warming my feet with his fur, but out of sudden he’s biting it. Comforter do comfort me, a cup of hot chocolate and some cookies are the best. And I think I am grateful enough for not further my study in Russia or Egypt. Seriously, I am someone who is sensitive to cold atmosphere and tonight is I am DAMN COLD.

paperKELIP : I will keep waking until 4PM to send off Ida, she have to catch her flight tomorrow morning.

IT’s HOLIDAYYYYY!!!

2010-12-16T06:55:00.001-08:00

Cuti datang lagi!!! Exam untuk blok ni dah abes… Cuti 2 Minggu dan aku tak balik MALAYSIA… GREYTTT! haha.

There is a lot of things to do in my mind after exam is over,but as usual itu hanyalah ANGKARA SHAITOOON semata-mata sebab lepas exam benda nak buat tu tak buat-buat pon Ha3 tapi sebab cuti dua minggu, eh lebih dua minggu kot so aku rasa aku patut buat perkara yang aku dah rancang-rancang dalam kepala otak aku nih.

1. Tukar layout blog, buat header baru. (Dalam angan2)

2. Habeskan sume drama korea yang aku dah download dan bakal download.

3. Masak sedap-sedap.

4. errr…

Okayh setakat tu jer dulu rancangan aku. Semua rancangan buang-buang waktu jer kan.