THE TOUGH GORENGAN...

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri peeps. How was your raya? I celebrated my first raya in Kuala Terengganu, Kedai Buluh... Rumah papan atap genting. Very cold and chill at night but very hot like hell at day. Anyway, this raya my angah and abang sulong were not here in Terengganu. Sad but what can I do?? Bertukar jadi superman dan terbangkan mereka ke mari ??? atau pinjam suit iron man ??

I also did the last minute shopping with my sister and cousins. A day before raya pergi bandar Kuala Terengganu to find my baju raya, nasib baik jumpa juga. My sis said that I am cerewet and choosey nak mampus. Nak kahwin pon nanti semua calon bakal direject hidup-hidup. Aku pun rasa aku jenis macam gitu.

Dan kalau dah raya of course lah ada orang kahwin. Walimatul urus tu memang wajib ada start 2nd raya je dah banyak majlis sampai jalan pon jam nak mampos. Macet gila lho. So, to all my friends who are engage and getting married this raya, CONGRATULATIOS!! I hope you guys and your partner will lead a happy forever life. Masuk syurga sama-sama. Orang kata, married till jannah.

This married thing make me thinking, not twice or thrice, but  hundreds time to get married. The akad nikah is okay, the hantaran is okay, but the walimatul urus is... blergh. Very penat kan.

One of my friend once told me (He is a male) ... “Teha, kau ingat senang ke nak kawen ni ?? Lelaki ni nak kasi duit hantaran lagi, kalau kawen dengan orang jauh nak pergi rumah perempuan tu, nak kena support minyak kereta, rumah tumpangan lagi, barang-barang hantaran, baju kawen lagi, bla3 ... lepas dah kawen nanti, nak dudu sama-sama, kena kasi nafkah lagi dan blablabla... " sekali aku kena dengar mamat ni membebel pasal kawen, sebab dia pon pening kepala awek dia macam tak sabar nak kawen. Dan bebelan dia tu buat aku kesian kat kaum lelaki.

So, you guys yang perempuan, kahwin memang once in a lifetime, tapi kalau nak kahwin mewah-mewah, apa kata you guys seduce anak dato’ or dato’ sendiri ?? Kalau nak sangat kawen dengan kekasih pilihan hati, tetapkan budget rendah-rendah je, dalam RM 20-30ribu tu kira dah keren kot.

Walaupun manusia yang menulis ni memandang perkahwinan bukan top priority dalam hidup beliau, tetapi beliau tetap percaya kehidupan selepas nikah tu jauh lagi penting dari majlis perkahwinan ala-ala puteri jin meraikan manusia dalam hikayat 1001 malam.

IT’s JUST A SONG...

For the god sake... I am tired with people saying
"Owh I no longer listen to their songs because they separated/the group make big mistake/blablablabla"

Please lah... It’s just a SONG. A mere song.

Of course... because of this thingy I am no longer k-POP fans except for JYJ. The fans are too obsess  and I need to grow up.

My music genre since my teenage years are always rock, indie rock, emo, grunge, alternative rock.

Yeah... k-pop never been my blood and bones.

UNBREAK BREAK... I MEND IT BACK...

deviantart

.Recently, I broke my heart.

.and I don’t know if I can face myself again. XD

This is stupid, why should I feel like this. Ironic. Redundant.

I did one mistake and I have to pay it back, 3 times.

It happen again and again and again.

Repeat and repeat

I do believe that I am not lucky enough so I will stay away, back off.

Eh awak... awak dengan perangai berlagak awak tu boleh pergi meninggal. Mohon ye. Sila pergi meninggal.

Awak dengan sikap SHOW OFF awak tu saya persilakan terjun dalam lubang jamban dan sila flush diri sendiri.

Awak dengan sajak dan puisi awak tu... awak ingat awak poetic sangat lah eh... okay. Asal awak tahu yang sebenarnya saya tak pernah faham metafora yang awak cuba sampaikan.

Mungkin saya ini kurang cerdik apatah lagi cerdas... Tapi sekurang-kurangnya, saya faham lah jugak behind the words lagu-lagu Artic Monkeys.

Awak dengan janji-janji awak tu, eh bukan janji. Awak dengan kata-kata awak tu, boleh lah... boleh lah... saya kasi awak balik. Awak boleh simpan.

Untung saya seorang yang poker face.

Maaf lah awak... Penggunaan bahasa saya tak sesuai dengan personality awak. Saya memang macam ni. Dan doalah banyak-banyak agar saya tak 'Turn my words into action, if not you are definitely dead. fatality'

Mohon pergi meninggal.

ALWAYS...

picture credit to devianart

and there is always a friend who know everything even he is far away from me. He is only exception. Because I don’t usually have a male friend as close as him.

He just know that I am sad over something else even I try to cover it up by saying that I am sad because of other thing.

He is a bff... not a bf and I am glad you are the only XY friend that I can trust. I love you as a friend.

Congratulation for your engagement even I congratulated you before.

paperKELIP : STOP! trying to introduce me to your brother already lah weyh!! I want a husband 10 years older lah. wkwkwkwk XD

paperKELIP lagi : Not that I don’t like your brother... but I love being single.

BELIEF...

At this age... I should think more about a marriage like my other friends. But thanks to you my ex, I never believe in marriage.

Not like I against it, or whatever... Today I learn a new lesson, you can trust and love someone, but you have to put 1% doubt in him/her because when he/she betray you, you will not feel so hurt or feel the pain. Hey... love yourself more before you love other. When you love yourself, you won’t hurt yourself aite.

Okeyh... I kinda love myself when I am all single. And I realise, I am not forever alone, I have myself, I have friends and the best thing that I have is my Faith, my Belief to my God Allah swt. HE is always by our side aite?

Yes I love be a single woman. I am still young what. I should explore this world. I should be a surgeon. I should go travel and do charity. I should be me. I shouldn’t be sad because of a man. That’s stupid. I am cool the way I am.

Today I just realise that I love being single very very much. I love it.

paperKELIP : I miss you mom, every single day and night... Every breathe... I love you. I love you. I love you. My precious mom.