I don’t know about this, I’m afraid I might be wrong.
I’m just a normal human being, but one thing for sure, I will let it to ALLAH to guide me to choose the right thing.
Your question is too heavy to answer, and your request is too big to accept.
After thinking about it, I make my prayer to HIM, I only can seek HIS help to guide me make my own decision. Big decision in my life.
Here is my answer...
“My heart keep denying, but my mind and my soul can’t accept it. My mind ask me to accept, but my heart keep rejecting, but far from the bottom of my heart, I can’t deny or reject it anymore, she wants me to accept... then should I say YES, I ACCEPT, but at the same time I’m afraid”
Sudah aku istikharah beberapa kali ya ALLAH, tetapi jawapnnya masih belum jelas.