Life is about abstract, too wonderful to see and too painful too feel. Only the one who left know it best, and HIM.
And finally only crazy ba***** like me who knows what is pain and too heartless will survive to deal with this bloody people.
Sabarlah wahai hati. Sebagai tanda percaya, saya akan terus berusaha, because I am a survivor.
Wokeyh... One down, one to go... Tomorrow I’m gonna slow talk with the whatsoever admin in my Univ to settle a few problem. I’m gonna use all my diplomatic skill to talk to this one handsome and cute but annoying doctor. He is charming but he can annoyed you to the deepest hell. I told ya. So tomorrow, I’m gonna “terpacak” in front of his door and pin a needle on his back. All the best to myself.
All praise to the ALMIGHTY for such a bless. Thanks to HIM that today I still alive today.
Tomorrow is the DAY, the day you you went away.
Okay, noob lah you ni tehah... Tomorrow is not the day siapa-siapa went away leaving myself alone, tomorrow is the day of my OSCE. Not the real OSCE but the Herr one. HOHOHO. Yeah I feel stupid because I tak pass2 lagi procedure memasang infuse and this is like the easiest one actually, cucuk je, pstu nanti air masuk je dalam blood vessel tu. Tapi masalahnyer procedure ni tak macam yang aku fikir mudah tapi bagi dokter yang menguji sangat lah complicated. Yess masa aku ujian dulu, aku gabra, you know gabra, bukak-bukak pintu je nampak Dr. Irwandy, gabra lah aku, pastu bila dah gabra procedure tu ke laut. Yang terhafal jadi tak terhafal.
Okay, aku dah mempersiapkan diri ini dengan sebaik-baiknya, siap seduce Mas yang jaga skill lab tu lagi kasi kitaorang try-try kat dummy tu, biar esok takde lah gelabah ayam nak cucuk jarum tu kat mana. Tadi pon my dear girlfriends aka my housemates dah suruh aku practise pasang infuse nih sume depan diaorang, Diaorang sangat best and supportive. Thank you!! *sobs* saya terharu. Saya akan buat yang terbaik esok, mudah-mudahan saya behasil.
Harapan saya esok :
1. Please pretty Please (sambil kedip-kedip mata) dapat dokter penguji yang sempoi.
2. Sarung tangan tu tak melekat dekat plester. Bila dah melekat rasa macam fail je
3. Saya dapat pasang tourniquet tu, tak kira dia warna biru atau orange.
4. Saya tak konpius, semoga dipermudahjan oleh-NYA.
5. Saya dapat buat yang terbaik, apa yang saya belajar, apa yang saya practise. Saya harap saya lulus.
And last but not least, thank you Allah for all the love and support you give me. Even though this is the 3rd time I fail this station, the easiest station out of 8, I feel bless and lucky, because you want me to learn and learn until I get it right. You give me challenge so that I can improve myself to be a better doctor. You train me how to be patience. Thank you for giving me the friends who will cry and laugh together with me. Okay, that all for my rants.
Siapa-siapa yang pernah tengok cerita batman, tak kira lah batman yang mana mesti kenal siapa 2Face ni kan. Haaa this 2Face nis is the same with someone I know, only this guy he is 2face not because someone somebody simbah acid kat muka dia.
He is 2face because he is normally 2face. If he has one face then he is the most hypocrite people in the world. Yes he is a guy.
Yo 2Face... Because I always dream that one day I will become batman (batwoman actually), so does this mean you are my antagonist?? In my life you are the bad one.
Aku rasa tahap kebosanan aku ni dah tahap maksimum kot.
Al-kisah, pada suatu hari, aku nak balik rumah dari indoMaret, aku lalu lah dekat depan satu rumah besar pagar warna biru. Aku selalu lalu depan rumah orang nih, rumah dia kat tepi jalan besar tu. Rumah ni ada dua ekor anjing, anjing ni spesis yang tak reti bahasa, orang cakap duduk dia berdiri, dasar lampi. Kita bukan bercakap pasal anjing yang besar-besar, atau chihuahua yer kawan-kawan, anjing ni kecik je tapi bukan chihuahua. Dia kecik dan bulu dia tebal, aku tak tahu lah spesis apa. Comel... nak tahu comel dia macam mana, baca sampai habis.
Dalam rumah tu ada dua ekor anjing spesis nih, sekor warna coklat perang satu lagi warna hitam total. Dorang ni kecik je, comel, tapi kalau korang lalu depan rumah dia, kau akan rasa macam nak cekik-cekik je dua-dua ekor nih. Masa aku tengan lalu depan rumah pagar biru tu, kebetulan tuan rumah dia balik, so mbak rumah tu bukak lah pagar rumah tanpa dia kurung anjing-anjing tu, ape lagi, dia yang memang tengah mengamuk nampak aku lalu tadi terus dorang dengan sesungguhnya nak kejar aku. Aku pon dah start nak bukak langkah 4 ela, dalam hati dah FUUUUU nyer anjing. Agak tak senonoh yer bahasa aku pada saat-saat genting, patut aku istighfar bebanyak. Tapi nasib baek lah mbak tu cepat-cepat tangkap dorang, kalu tak menyamak lah aku, dengan tanah susah nak cari kat jakarta neh. Cerita nih dah 2 tahun berlalu, tapi aku rasa anjing cinonet tu still dendam dengan aku sebab asal aku lalu je depan rumah dia, terus dia menyalak-nyalak.
YO doggies, Y U NO LEFT ME ALONE??
Everyone, everybody in this world need love.
Even animals need love too...
Sebab tu orang suka post pasal love love ni dekat FB kot.
Aku rasalah.
Kalau dah balik kampung dengan usia yang sebegini,
maka ramailah mak cik-mak cik kat kampung tanya
"Teha dah ada boyfriend?"
Hehe, dengan senyum lebar aku pon jawab
"yer dah ada dah, dia dekat Korea sekarang" hehe
Dan mak cik aku pon mula lah tanya macam-macam
”ye ke? belajar apa kat korea tu”, “berapa tahun lagi nak habes?”
Muahahaha... kalau aku jawab macam ni aci tak?
"Dia dah abes blaja dah, dah keje pon, ada rumah besar lagi, siap ade kereta batman lagi"
The point is, mak cik aku boleh pulak mereka percaya cerita merapu aku nih... itu maknanyer your niece ni memang ditakdirkan forever alone. Apa yang aku jawab kat mereka?
Aku jawab “Umur dia 26 tahun ni” sambil sengih sensorang. Pandai-pandai lah mereka translate sendiri sengihan aku tu :p
Owh I told my girls this super duper epic story and they said
"Dorang percaya sebab dorang tak tahu yang awak tu memang tergila-gilakan si JaeJong tu, dorang tak kenal awak macam mana kita orang kenal awak teha oi” Hohoho.
Only my friends know who truly I am, so you, who the one not around me, don’t know me well, to judge someone action, we have to know them better. Tak kira lah korang kawan dia atau stalker dia. Term stalker di sini bukan stalker yang takat stalk orang kat fb, twitter or blog, tapi stalker yang sesungguhnyer, not pseudo-STALKER.
To my Aunties, I am so sorreeeeeeeeeey. I am forever alone, at least for now, please don’t ask me about boyfriend, right now I only have Girlfriends... no, I am not gay. HOHOHO. I’m just delusional that someday I will be married to JJ. That’s all.
Korang kenal tak lesung batu? Lesung batu ada dua, satu yang untuk menggiling satu lagi untuk menumbuk, tapi hari nih aku nak cerita lesung batu yang untuk menumbuk. Lesung batu nih bukan untuk menumbuk muka rakan-rakan anda yer adek-adek, retak tulang tengkorak saya tak tanggungjawab (boleh retak ke?). Pokoknyer gag usah lah kamu coba-coba nak hempok kepala orang pakai lesung batu.
Nak jadi ceghita, hari neh turn aku masak, so aku amek keputusan nak masak nasi ayam. Nasi ayam paling senang aku rasa, tak payah tumis-tumis semua itu, tapi kena banyak pakai lesung jugak lah sebab aku ni spesis yang malas nk blend benda-benda cikai neh.
Dah abes masak haruslah kita kemas dapur kan, masa aku nak simpan lesung batu tu, skali alu lesung tu terjatuh tergolek dari tepi sinki, kejepok! jatuh atas lantai... dan terpatah dua. Sadis tak? tak pernah lah kan seumur hidup aku lesung yang jatuh atas lantai terpatah dua, lantai tu yang retak seribu adalah. Time-time tu jugak aku rasa cam nak hempok lesung tu kat pembuat dia, lesung ke tengkorak dia yang retak... terbayang-bayang aku time kitaorang beli lesung batu tu, dengan susah payah angkut dari pasar ke rumah. Tskkk... alahai lesung.
Okay, finish with lesung yang dah terpatah dua, to make it worse, tadi, just now, si Raihan neh, mintak aku gorengkan ayam lagi sebab nak makan lah kan... Nak goreng ayam kena perap dulu, nak perap tu kena lah aku tumbuk bawang putih dengan halia, you know what, alu yang terpatah dua tu aku letak kat sinki, tak simpan skali dengan mak dia, dengan gembira nye aku amek alu lesung tu, skali ada cik LIPAN tengan tido membelit alu lesung tu! kureng asam gila, nasib baek aku terperasan. Sebab reflex parasimpatetik aku cakap “you better FIGHT or FLIGHT” Fatehah, if you harapkan si Simpatetik ni buat keje jangan harap kau selamat, maka aku pun mencampak lah alu lesung tu, owh dan naseb baek dia tak terpatah dua lagi, kalo tak jadi 3 bagian lah alu lesungku.
Lipan tu agak besar jugak lah, kaler hitam plak tu. Geli weyh. Bukan lah aku seram sangat dengan lipan tu, tapi sebab before nih, masa aku tengah sedap-sedap menggulai, sekali ada benda merayap kat kaki aku, bukan lipas yer, tapi lipan juga. Besar lebih kurang je. Geli... Owh lipan tadi aku dah bunuh dengan penyapu. Geram betol.
Apelah nasib hari neh, lesung dah terpatah dua, pastu ada lipan yang gatal nak membelit tido kat lesung tu. BTW, rumah sewa aku ni memang banyak lipan. Nasib baek lah cik TI takde lagi. Korang bukan tak taw tikus-tikus Jakarta ni macam mana, lagi besar dari HARLEQUIN...
Okay aku bosan sebenarnyer, makanyer keluar lah cerita merapu meraban neh. Time exam bukan main stress lagi akuh neh, bila dah takde ape-ape, rasa macam nak main lompat-lompat bangunan mcm Le’Parkour tu je. Lari-lari pastu LOMPAT! terasa bebas.
Wokeyh... from what I see and read ramai jejaka tertanya-tanya
“Why eh girls nih suka sangat kat lelaki yang species bad boy?”
I have a simple answer for your question, a very simple one, kenapa kau tanya?
“SEBAB BAD BOY HAVE THEIR OWN SWAG!!!”
Tu pada pendapat aku lah kan... macam korang, suka kat perempuan ayu-ayu, tak kan lah pompuan nak suka kat lelaki ayu kot. Tak lah kot.
Kalau hal yang mudah, senang dan simple macam ni pun tak nak memahami, macam mana lah aku nak bagi tahu hal yang complicated,big matter kat mereka nih.
Sometime I wish god will give me back my Late mama, I know she will know me the best and understand me better than him and her.
Well I’m not getting what I’m wishing for.
I will not give up except for you
You are the one that I love right now but
it just not right to love, it just not right for me
to love especially someone like you
Maybe I am blushing when I talk about you to my girlfriends
But I give up, love is not my thing, not anymore.
OH I’m in looveeeeee
Sssssshhh... don’t tell anyone, it’s a secret
and of course I won’t tell him. Obviously not.
Tak akan sesekali aku start buka langkah
Kalau nak kejar, tak kejar aku tak akan anggap kau tak nak.
Sebab... saya tak sempurna dan saya tak akan
kejar kamu yang sempurna.
paperKELIP : Aku kejar yang sempurna rupa macam JJ tak mungkin akan dapat.
Life is not easy as it look like
I will take this as an experience of my life
I just a chapter that I should HIGHLIGHT it with YELLOW PEN
So, next time, I will remember it clearly that I should be prepared
and be more mentally stable. Don’t take it as easy as ABC.
I will reminisce what I did wrong and improvise myself to be a better
Slave to HIM our RABB, a better daughter to my parents, a better friend and a better medical student.
Maybe this is how HE wants to GUIDE me to the bright light.
Thank you for your reminder, I will always hold this faith, please
trust me more because I will confront all of them with my rationality to make a judgement.
Have you ever heard or read this quotes?
“I think I'm afraid of being happy because every time I'm happy, something bad always happens.” “I know God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much.”
Yeah that exactly what I feel right now. Should I give up everything except for study right now? Should I do that? Should I not be happy and bad thing will never ever happen to me? I know as an Islam I shouldn’t say this thing, but this is too much. Too much to handle.
Believe me, if I tell you, how stress I am, you wouldn’t understand. You never will... and why when I close my eyes, all I see is you? I don’t even know you! Please...
Just to clear thing up everybody, relax, chill, seat back and relax.
Guys oh my buddies, Y U NO asking me about the situation? Why you just assume from someone else story and believe in them without seeking the truth first. Yo buddy, you really hurt my heart.
FYI, I am way to busy to involve with this nonsense heart breaking story of yours, and I also have to deal with my broken heart yadda yadda stories. I have lots to do, okay lets clear this up okay?
I am not in LOVE or have ANY FEELING toward your “someone that you still love” Yeah... WE ARE NEVER TALK ABOUT HEART or WHATSOEVER STORY, we are just FRIEND!
Yeah we live nearby BUT that doesn’t mean we have FEELING for each other. Hello girls I am BUSY with my own things, I am BUSY. I don’t know lah kan who make up this story and and bring it up so that you guys look at me like low class woman. Hell yeah, I am not interested in your guy, he is not my taste and he is not even my type of guy. Duhh... I’m not interested with flying guy except for PETER PETRELLI... well Milo Ventigmiglia is a hot guy.
And I am not in a condition where I can have feeling to a man as easy as ABC. And I know, your man pon tak interested pon dekat saya nih. Hell no lah, I am 100% sure and positive about this.
Well right now, you girls should know, I reserve a space in my heart for someone special, and he is absolutely not “WHO YOU THINK HE IS” ... Yeah you who asked me “Dah ada calon?” my answer is “YES I AM, it’s a secret”
If you still think we have something that we hide from you guys, why don’t you come here and live with me and feel it by yourself how busy my life is. If you heard a story about us going out together that is true, we did going out to makan and nonton bareng-bareng, not more and not less. Lagi pun aku je satu-satu nya nyer kawan yang dia ada kat tengah-tengah bandar Jakarta neh, kawan yang memang dah lama kenal sejak dari sekolah lagi. Dah lah satu satu sekolah, satu kelas lagi.
Girls girls, why don’t you just ask me, “Teha, ko buat ape dengan dia? Ko ada pape ke dengan dia?” Instead of you girls listen and make up nonsense story. I am not angry but I am disappointed.
My piece of advice, we are lady, when a guy dumped us, yes you can cry min 3 days, max 7 days. Cry all you want but after that don’t look back, hold your tears, move on, settle down, be successful. A much much better guy will appear in front of you, and yeah you deserve someone much much better than your ex. My story is different, I dumped him because he is PLAYER. Accusation approved.
Oh, I have two papers tomorrow and that paper wasn’t easy like other paper. We are talking about NeuroScience anatomy people. See kan, tadak masa pon I nak cintan-cintun tak tentu hala bila diri sendiri pon huru-hara tak settle-setttle lagi. GOODBYE
from a disappointed friend,
Owh I am one of them, I lie too.
To make you happy, I have to lie my dear friend.
I can’t cry even I want to. Things get more and more complicated, I want to cry but I can’t. No tears come down flowing down my cheeks, I wanna cry really bad, I wanna release this tension, but I can’t. When I sad, angry or disappointed, I will just swallow it, keep it inside... and no tears.
Until I realize that I am actually have no soul. Empty soul. Wuteva. Am I ??? Pathetic lah plak rasa nyer bila takde perasaan ni. At some point, I don’t really care what happen to myself, maybe I will cry when I get my DOCTOR title. For all these years that I struggle, I hope one day I can achieve my dream. I will and I will do it properly, with manners and ethics. Right now, I will swallow all the things that all the shit that our university give to us. I will survive all this crap. Suck it and see.
Bagi nasihat lah sangat kan... Tahukah anda nasihat anda tu memang tak boleh pakai satu sen pon. Sebab anda dah cakap macam gitu, maka saya pon terpaksa lah memutuskan talian yang sememangnya tak berapa nak ada line nih. OKAY means BYE.
I am lucky because I have them as my GF and a Masuk air one.
Yeah you talk to me like I’m already dead, so let me be dead and I promise, you won’t see me again forever. Even my soul will not try to appear in your heart and mind.
