YOU ARE NOT HUMAN THAN YOURSELF

You become human, less and less….

until you are not human anymore.

Poor yourself, trying to crawl out from you

but you give yourself a nasty look.

BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT HUMAN THAN YOURSELF.

paperkelip : mesti orang tak faham apa yang aku tulis kan…

LOL

Its just weird when I ask you to listen my korean band, you just do it without any fuss, and you love my 2PM… You know what dear, it so hard to make a ‘NAMJA’, to love korean boy band or boy group. Then again I ask you to listen to CN BLUE, again without any hesitation you did listen to them… Am I a pusher?? lol

But when I know you really like Justin Bieber, I laughed like a gagman. I mean, why Justin Bieber?? Someone like you, who always like emo music or I should say “music yang tahpape”, then you say to me “Justin Bieber”. lol

Well I really don’t care if you like Justin Bieber, even I really dislike him… Its your choice anyway…

I really appreciate it when you say, 2PM best. Wahh. I’m really glad, really glad…

And, you even don’t want to cut your hair, cuz you want to look like a korean guy for me… OH my dear, I really love those korean guys, but I don’t want you to be one of them, cuz you just for me, not anyone else… HEHE…

I read this line from other blog, dunno which blog, it sound like this ;

“ Lesung pipit mu itu buat diriku, tapi aku harus terima senyuman mu itu untuk semua”

hu3… I just want you to know that I’m glad to know you, as a friend, enemy. And you always bring up our old story, when we still in school uniform, those memories that I pretend “I forget” when you asked me “did you remember?”.

paperkelip : you know what, I hope you will never read this, cuz I don’t want you to know that I really like you back then in school… I just pretend that I hate you. hehe.

paperkelip2 : this is not a story. its just lol. I am always an idiot. lol.

 

MOMENT

A moment after I step out from exam hall

“I will push myself to study even harder”

and yeah… only at that moment.

 

I DO NOT OWN THIS :p

paperkelip : thanks for editting…

GEDIK…

Sayang… your child is naughty lah… Suka lari-lari dalam rumah, syok sendiri… Macam awak lah..

paperkelip : nak muntah aku tulih.

MOOD JIWANG

Mood JIWANG hanya datang semasa minggu exam. Sekian terima kasih…

Kalau lah aku mampu memotong hati menjadi 10 bahagian, dah lama aku bahagikan hati untuk BERIBADAH, hati untuk BELAJAR, hati untuk BERJIWA SENI, hati untuk BEREMOSI, hati untuk  KPOP, hati untuk WORLD CUP. Hehehe…

Hai untuk mama, abah, famili, hati untuk dia… Hati untuk diri sendiri…

Satu kata…. LOVE.

KAU, KAU, dan KAU

Cuba letakkan kau, kau, dan kau dihadapan aku,

PastI hanya kau seorang yang aku pilih.

TIRU TREND

Ok dulu friendster, pastu Tagged, Hi5, then Facebook…. Pastu trend sekarang, “ko bole tanya aku ape-ape soalan yang ko nak tanya” kat Formspring nih…. Ni formspring aku, kalo rase takde keje meh tanya aku ape-ape kemusykilan… Soalan merapu aku pon jawab ngan merapu…. Tapi ini zona larangan mencarut… Keh3..

TAK MATANG

Aku masih belum matang untuk menjadi aku. Kamu?

BUKAN AKU

Percayalah, bukan aku yang kau mahu…

Yang kau mahu itu,

-Si gadis putih, cantik, comel yang amek gambar dengan pose comel, buat profile picture kat fb.

-Si gadis yang senang cair meleleh macam coklat cadbury bila kau berkata manis.

-Si gadis yang senang mengucapkan kata “I love you”, berucap manja bila bersama mu, tanpa ragu dia bermain mesra dengan mu, tanpa dia tahu erti sayang itu.

Percayalah, aku bukan begitu…

-Aku, bukan si gadis cantik, comel yang suka pose dengan comel untuk gambarnya diambil. Berpose comel pun aku tak reti.

-Aku juga bukan coklat cadbury, van houten, guillian dan sebagainya, mudah cair mendengar kata manismu. Bagiku, setiap patah kata yang keluar dari bibir mu tak relevant… Aku bukan mudah.

-Aku, nak mengucapkan kata sayang padamu lagilah aku tak mahu, kerana ada yang lebih aku sayang darimu.

Percayalah, kau bukan mahu aku…

Dan percayalah, kau tak pernah sayang aku…

paperkelip : untuk orang yang terasa…

 

FOR YOU

This is beautiful, I don’t know who wrote this. I take it from I wrote this for you…

THE TIME BEFORE NOW

I began thousands of years ago on a cave wall somewhere in Africa. I painted the idea of you before symbols could make sounds in our heads. And each time I come back, I'm the same. This is not the first time you've read this. I've told you a thousand times over a thousand years. I am no more the first me that's ever been than you are the first you. And we certainly won't be the last.

And I dedicate this to you…

MASIH ADA RUANG?

Ambil pisau itu, belah dadaku

Tarik jantungku

Lalu, coba kau lihat….

Masih adakah ruang disitu buatmu?

TERIMA KASIH TUHAN

Thank you ALLAH swt, for your greatest LOVE

Cinta kasih sayang-MU, memunculkan aku di hadapan mama abah ku.

Thank you ALLAH swt for your MERCINESS

Kemaafan-MU buat aku malu mengenang dosa-dosaku.

Thank you ALLAH swt for your ISLAM

Agama ini buat aku bangga menjadi manusia.

Terima kasih yang tidak terhingga dariku, hamba kerdil ini…

Ya-ALLAH, lindungi aku dari putus asa total, tolong aku ukirkan senyuman ini supaya mereka tidak risau.

paperkelip : rindu total kat family.

LETS CHOOSE

Letakkan aku sebelah dia, untuk kau pilih, aku atau dia? Masih berfikir? maka kau tidak layak untuk aku.

Untuk kali ke berapa, aku ragu….

paperkelip : SuJu mood :p

 

INDAH

Indah sungguh metafora bahasa, buat aku tersedu.

Jiwangkah aku? erkk…

LOVE LIGHT

Mood tengah nak jiwang je kan exam-exam nih, sambil bukak buku nak gak dengar lagu-lagu ctachy macam ni kan, bukak blog sendiri tibe-tibe ade lagu korea, CnBLUE “LOVE LIGHT”. Suara si ensem yonghwa plak buat aku cair, bahasa korea bkn nyer aku paham pon kan, so meh sambil dengar lagu nih, kite tengok translation skali… :)

when i look at you my face gets red
when i see you my heart goes thump thump
i talk with shyness like a kid
when i look at you i just smile out of nowhere
like a fool I keep doing that
I think love came to me

You’re the president of my heart
You’re my chests’ star embroider
I’m Genie for you girl
You make me stop breathing
whatever you want
because i love you
There’s no reason for my love you know

you’re a darling
you’re more beautiful than the stars above in the night sky
the shining thing deep inside my heart
my own love light

i love you darling
give me light next to me whenever
every night i look at you
and you’re beautiful even when i look at you
you’re my love light

when i see you i feel like I’m up on the clouds
it may be immature but i keep doing this
i think love came to me

you’re a darling
you’re more beautiful than the stars above in the night sky
the shining thing deep inside my heart
my very own love light

i love you darling
give me light next to me whenever
every night i look at you
and you’re beautiful even when i look at you
you’re my love light

you’re lovely
you’re more blinding than the sunlight up in that sky
you shine the dark places inside my heart
my own love light

i love you lovely
even if i close my eyes i see you
looking at you like this
you’re still blinding even when i see you
you’re my love light

Lagu ni buat aku teringat kat adik aku plak…

PESAN DIA

Pesan dia, “Bila mama dah takde nanti, anak-anak mama berilah sedekah walau hanya seringgit kat masjid atau surau tiap-tiap bulan.

Pesan dia, “Selagi nyawa tak putus dari badan, bacalah Al-quran.

Pesan dia, “Solat 5 waktu selalu, jangan putus berdoa untuk abah, mama, dan org-org Islam.

Pesan dia, “Setiap kesilapan, kesalahan, kegagalan itu pengalaman, takde pengalaman ni tak istimewa hidup.

Dan dia berkata lagi, “susah nak jaga dua orang anak perempuan ni, nak ajar cara pakai baju yang betul, pakai tudung yang betul, cara mandi hadas, tapi anak perempuan mama nanti jaga abah elok-elok yer”. Sambil tersenyum mama bagi nasihat.

Mama tak pernah pesan, “kakak, nanti jadi dokter”, bla2 yang bukan-bukan, mama just pesan “jangan jadi cikgu jer, sbb same ngn mama”… 

Mama just want us to be a good person, successful and never forget abah. For you, I will do everything that you told us. I never forget, your letter you give us before you go to HIM, it still remain here inside my soul.

TODAY

Today….. I cry again,

thinking of you,   

because you are my love, my soul

you are the greatest love,

no one can be compared to you,

I will keep this love inside my deep heart

I will bring this love together with me

and raise it to my children…

Rest in peace….mama.

                                           

 

MOTHERS DAY

(pic by TLKInspirationsClub, deVIANT ART)

Every 2nd Sunday of MAY, the world will celebrate MOTHERS DAY.

On this special day of mom, I want to give my special thanks to mothers who taking care of me when I was baby, kid, teenager and adult (am I adult yet?? :p)

Of course, special thanks and love to my late mama, for giving birth of me, feed me, sewed my dresses and gown, teach me how to read, pray and recite Al-quran (slalu kne rotan aku nih), taught me how to cook, and how to deal with this world.

Special thanks and love to my current mama, support me in whatever I do, be nice to me, and LOVE me like I am your daughter.

Special thanks and love to my aunties, Mok Ja and Cik Su, my late mama’s sisters, because when my mama further her study, they taking care of me, babysit me, since I was baby. And to Cik Su, thanks because you saved my life, naughty girl like me, like to jump into “PERIGI” and almost drowned, and you save me… Hampeh tol little tehah, terjun dalam perigi sebab kejar ayam.

Owh, last but not least, to my late Long and Cik Ngoh, they too, taking care of me when I was baby. Thanks for your breastfeed Cik Ngoh.

p/s : bile ingat balik, kecik-kecik dulu aku mmg nakal and tomboy tahap cipan dewa mati idup balik. Anak aku, jangan tiru perangai buruk aku nih… tolonglah paham.

CAN I BE YOURS?? PRETTY PLEASE :p

Hey check this out my fevret guy all the time, yeah baby

“JAY PARK” in da house!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy the show and smexiness of JAY….

JAY CAN YOU BE MY MAN??? hehehe :p

p/s : nak mampus agaknyer aku cakap cmtu, abes HOTTEST and BUMTIST burn aku nanti… ha3

WHEN DESTINY CALL

Just now I got a message from my friend, she was with me in KMKN, my mentee, my classmates.

Her messege sound like this ;

“teha..kwn kite huzaifah da meninggal dunia..lemas di sabah..petng nie arwah akan tiba di KLIA, pkul 7 pm.. mlm nie or esok pagi akan dikebumikan.”

I was shock, surprise, doubt about the news I just got. Huzaifah is one of my mentee, the most quiet person in our class, never talk unless he wants too. And we always don’t like his ignorance, and always talk “merapu” about him. Now the guy that we used to “do that” is passed away.

Terasa dosa dengan arwah masih berbaki walaupun dulu dah mintak maaf kat dia.

Itulah namenyer kehidupan, you live in this world, then you walk away from here, to be place in “alam barzakh” then JUDGEMENT DAY will come. Tak boleh dah nak lari dari sume nih, selalu beringat, tak semestinya ko mude, nnt umo 60 tahun and above baru malaikat maut cabut plug kat badan.

Siyesly, Huzaifah is a very good guy, a dai’e, he went to Sabah for dakwah job there on his sem break. Semoga roh arwah dicucuri rahmatnya, di ampunkan dosa-dosa arwah, Dan semoga family arwah redha dengan pemergian beliau… AL-FATIHAH

PINK

 

 

credit to DeViant art for the pics 

ENJOY the PINK :)

MAKE IT SIMPLE

Just make it simple, no need to eloborate it. Life is easy, so why not we make it simple.

I always wishing that my love story will become as simple as ABC, no novel like love story, no drama, just a simple easy one.

But, what you get will inverted from what you wishing for.

Yeah well… still the past is the past. But I really don't want that simple past thing complicate my mind. Half of me want to know about the past 5 years of you, and half of me say its ok if I don’t know, it can break your heart. Still five or six years is a long period.

perghh… asal gune eng??? gune BM tak bole k?? menyusahkan diri gua je nak pikir tulih B.I nih.

OKAY lah dalam erti kate lain, dalam 5-6 tahun nih aku xpenah jumpa ngn dia, camner aku nak bicara kes nak masuk meminang ngn abaha aku?? sile JAWAB ngn jujur wahai FATEHAH MALIK, buatnyer abah tanya apa jadah dia buat before nih, boleh jadi imam ke tak, ngaji khatam ke tak, hape aku nak jawab?? Abah aku bukan jenis ayah-ayah modern cam zaman sekarang style ayah-ayah drama slot akasia, tengok Chelsea lawan Man.U memalam buta, ayah yang tak penah kesah ngan sape anak dia “dating with”. Abang aku plak abang cap cite anak haram, overprotective, giler crazy lagilah angah kenal dia, sepupu dia kawan baik ngn angan dulu. GB tol. 

Sume hal di atas, dan benda yang hati aku utarakan sejak beberapa minggu yang lalu memang annoy lah pikiran aku yang simple nih. Soalan-soalan tu hanyalah contoh, of course lah die dah khatam Al-Quran, dalam erti kate lain abah aku mestilah tanya pasal benda-benda berkaitan agama. Baik aku interbiu dia dulu before abah interbiu dia.

P/S : kalo aku nak kawen ngan mamat-mamat 2PM lagilah bapak gua mengamuk sakan.

EXCLUSIVE HIM

My very exclusive baby, Harlequin don’t want to share my love with his Uncle Bom Bom, Tom Tom and Julie. He just want to play with me if Tom Tom not with me. hahaha…

Lawak btol lah mamat nih, tak nak berkongsi kasih sayang. Ni sume terjadi minggu lepas, mase Putih datang umah nih sbb nk mate kan dengan Bom Bom. Mestilah aku layan Putih lebih sebab dia tetamu, Harlequin started to become jealous over Putih. Then he wants to win my heart by acting “manje”, “meowwing” and sleep with me. How cute…

To Harlequin, even you’re such a naughty boy, I will always love you, and I love all of you. Don’t be like this again ok… Bersosial lah sikit, main ngn auntie Ida, auntie atik and auntie ainaa. They all love you.

(ni gmbar sebulan lepas, sekarang dah makin temboon)

Harlequin mama yang comel, suke main ganas-ganas, kadang-kadang tergigit, tercakar mama, gigit bikan gigit main-main, gigit kuat-kuat, cakar kuat-kuat, sayang sangat kat Harlequin. Suke tunggu kat dalam bilik mama, tunggu mama balik kuliah. CUTE.. Be a GOOD BOY ok. :)

Ni baby gurl aka adik Harlequin, Tom Tom yang sangat cerdik, bijak pandai, nakal dan manje. Collab ngn Harlequin, we call them OREO. Jangan tertipu dengan Tom Tom nih, suke buat muke kesian, tapi sangat manje plus nakal+++++. My baby tiger, love you sangat-sangat, taw jer mama balik kuliah, nak main ngn dia, lari-lari ikut naik atas. CUTE!!! Be a GOOD GIRL K… Nanti Tom Tom dah menarche, mate ngan Uncle Bom Bom, give birth babies yang cute-cute k… ha3

Ok aku dah stat nagrut…

P/S : finally, this cyclops eyes are gone. :)