THE BEST CHOICE

Well do not mind things that I wrote yesterday. I was angry and sad. I talked to him, and I think this is the best choice and this is the best for both of us. If we are fate to be together than in the future I do hope we meet in a good condition, he achieve his dream and I achieve my dream.

I promise my brother that I will not involve in love relationship with any guy until I get my degree (degree maybe dapat tahun depan), ermm or until I finish my study, hipocrates oath, bla bla bla. Senang cerita nanti bila dah balik Malaysia dengan sesungguhnya.

To you mister, I hope you will get the best in your life. May ALLAH swt bless you always. I’m not doing this because my love to you is fading away but I do this because... you know the best the answer.

It focus time. I have to get back to my long lost track.

paperKELIP : Pedih bijik mata nanges pon tak akan bawak balik kita ke zaman silam. Be tough kay. Owh by the way, the reason is “I don’t mix business with love matter” my business is to study, love after study, I’m at ease now.

WINNER

I won’t claim myself as a winner, but in fact I’m the winner. You are so busted Mr.Pabo. When you see this face again, it will smile to you and please stop hoping that the owner of this smile will touch by your sweet dreamy word. Well actually Mr. Pabo, she never fall from head to toe over you. No she will never ever ever, it just love hormone that growing up in the owner body. If you ever say that she is a fool, well she is a fool but she is BRAVE enough to say, “we are done here. GOODBYE”.

Well readers (if I have lah), I’m officially single now, but I’m not gonna delete the older post about my ex-bf, this blog I dedicate to post about my past. My Piece of Soul. Well if you see the sweetness in this relationship, it is sweet but it just our hormones that make it look sweet. I never find my true love, not yet. Oneday I will find it, from now on I have to focus on my study. Owh, we breaking up because my result is not so good last semester, jangan fikir bukan-bukan (maybe this is not the real reason, you just have to guess, you are clever anyway, tak payah terang pon korang dah taw). I think I have made a good step, wise, brave, and cool. I am not sad, no feeling at all. I’m heartless anyway so there I go, I am not gonna continue this so called “Blur-vision-no future-relationship”. Dah tahu tak akan menjadi kita break je lah. Tak susah pon. Lagi pun, my brother cakap, “Bagus lah, tak payah lah caye sangat kat laki time tengah study ni”. Abang yang sangat overprotective amat disayangi aku.

By the way, I have a p/s for this girl, I’m glad dear that you not end up with him, like I say, I’m the one who can handle him, yes I did handle him. I’m glad dear, I don’t want you to feel like the way I feel. Be happy with your boyfriend ok. Dear I did teach him a lesson, I hope he will change, maybe in my dream lah kan, but at least I try.

Okay readers, let the reason be buried in my heart only. I love riddle.

paperKELIP : Beware the stare of Mary Shaw, She has no children only dolls, but if you see her in your dream, never ever scream (death silence)... Entah betul ke tak poem tu. hehe.

CARELESS WHISPER

Well maybe she was lying or maybe not. But I choose to believe because I want to believe, I will not mad if it turn out that she telling me lie. By the way I am relieve now, I am free once again. Maybe this is my last opportunity from the word freedom, I will use it wise. Gomawo to who ever you are girl. I mean it.

STOP

STOP

I will stop, no I am stopping now, stop from my head to toe. It such a waste of time if I continue this nightmare.

paperKELIP : Cool shoes

YOU ARE THE BEST

(deviantart)

Today a friend of mine, who I adore and respect text me a message. Actually I text her first, because I miss her. She’s the one who I love as a friend text me :

“Tika titis air mata jatuh ke bumi, biarlah hanya Allah swt yang mengetahui, kerana hanya Dia penyembuh luka pemberi bahagia kepada hati dan naluri. Sedikit yang bermanfaat lebih baik dari banyak yang melalikan. Ujian Allah datang hanya kasih-Nya kepada hamba-Nya, agar iman terus meningkat, hati semakin dekat, dan jiwa lebih akrab dengan-Nya”

She is my motivator, my inspire. I love you so much my friend, sahabat ku.

paperKELIP : I love you not specifically for the boyfriend right?

WORKOUT!!!

(workout)

I love to workout, it make me feel good and fresh. I can release all my tension when I workout. I sweat a lot, I feel healthy, I feel fit. I can run faster now. Build up my stamina yang terhegeh-hegeh ni. By the way, I used to be fit, but after a long time me not doing any exercising I gain weight and my stamina is down. Macam mana nak study dengan hebat kalau stamina takde, So one day, someone show me this website www.bodyrock.tv and the owner of this website is a couple, they show us how to workout at home and how to eat well. The girl name Zuzuna, she has a fit body, muscle sume tu tapi muscle dia tak buruk dan tak nampak macam lelaki.

I’m doing this workout not because I like to have a muscle but to burn some of my excess fat especially thigh area and my oblique. Exercise about 3 times a week good for your health at least when the lift is full and I have to climb the stairs I can reach the 6th floor without any trouble. Hehe.

Take care of your body and then you can take care of others. Betul tak??

paperKELIP : Lately I have a strange dream.

ABSES GINGIVA et causa DIABETES MELITUS

New semester just begin, I was sort to D7 group, new group again for this semester. Right now we are in Blok 23 : Special Sense (Penginderaan), we have to learn about Mata, Telinga Hidung dan Tenggorokan (THT), and Gigi Mulut (Gilut).

The first PBL’s done, my group got this case "Abses Gingiva et causa DM" and the second PBL will be on this Tuesday. Wish me luck kay!!! ^^

Okay, Diabetes Melitus (Kencing Manis) is really a frightening disease, high blood sugar in your body, insulin deficiency, macam-macam. Banyak komlikasi dan salah satunya Abses Gingiva. What the hell is Abses Gingiva nih?? Well Abses means ada nanah/pus, gingiva is ‘GUSI’. Orang yang ada DM ni akan ada nanah kat dalam gusi dia, dan dia tak tahu sebab takdelah keluar nanah sebijik-sebijik dari gusi. Dalam kasus aku dia cakap ada pembengkakan pada gusi dan tempat bengkak tu berubah-ubah. Maybe bila gosok gigi, gusi berdarah kan. Kenapa orang DM ni boleh kena sakit gusi ni?? Sebab kadar gula darah dia tinggi. Nak terang panjang-panjang macam buat makalah PBL plak.

So kesimpulan yang aku nak kasi tahu adalah, cegah lah diri anda dari kena DM ni, bahaya, banyak komplikasi, rumit, susah nak ubat dia, kena selalu kontrol, nak makan pon kena diet-diet DM, hipoglikemi tak boleh, hiperglikemi pon tak boleh. Till then~

paperKELIP : jealous dengan kawan-kawan yang pergi SuSHOW 3!!!

SAD LOVE STORY

 

deviantart

At last, he is Jacob, you are Edward and I am Bella. And at the end Edward will come back to Bella, Bella have to choose between Edward and Jacob, and Edward is chosen, poor Jacob. But Bella love the two of them, the only different is she loves Edward as a lover and Jacob only just a friend.

He understand. He is the best. He is a friend. He is warm. He is mystery. But he just Jacob.

Bella, she try to forget, erase Edward but she can’t. Edward you have to take care of Bella more.

paperKELIP : Saya tak matang!

THANKS

Thanks to you for become one of my important person in my life. I hope you eat well, sleep well, and more stable after this. I miss you. We have our own responsibility, I understand. I will wait for you, if you need me just come to me, I will share you my strength, comfort you. I’m not going to disturb you with my stupidity anymore, I will just wait quietly and do my own thing like a baby with her toy. I promise you.

Till then dear, see you around again after this, just remember that I love you.

paperKELIP : talk show on mute by incubus...

GOODBYE… GOODBYE… GOODBYE…

 

Goodbye... Goodbye... Goodbye... My love... I have to go and leave you alone, but always know that I love you so.. Take care of yourself.

Darling, pretty please face the day because today is not yesterday, I wish you could be happy instead because it nothing else I can do but love you the best as I can... You are not the one who’s been through, me too have been there alone, so are you... Its not your fault, so pretty please wipe your tears and put up your head.

paperKELIP : Sabtu lepas kami pergi PUNCAK!!

PK,PBL,INTEGRASI,RESULT dan BIG BANG

Jumaat, 11 March 2011, am I forgotten?? The answer probably YES, mengaku je lah.

Today, I was in the middle of “KELAM KABUT”, my day was a chaos today. I have to reseat the PK’s exam (alaa exam yang aku miss tu) first thing in the morning. The exam was ‘okay’, cukup-cukup makan untuk lulus boleh kot. Tak susah, tapi aku yang pelupa, apa itu morfologi dari eosinafil, basofil dan monosit serta nilai normal untuk result dari pemeriksaan hematokrit. See, senang kan? Aku yang lupa walaupun dah hafal bermati-matian (hmmm). Okay aku harap soalan lain aku betul.

‘Lepak-lepak’ in the library to finish up my Pbl’s presentation with my friend, Lina. Then, someone told us, the Semester 5 result is out. Well sem 5 is not my luck probably, or maybe I can’t cope with the new system, well this sem 6 I will do it my best. I sill have to “bersyukur”, thank GOD, at least I still have my ‘rezeki’ left. Promise after this I will wake up early to solat subuh. Always late, anak dara apelah ni. Ish3. Then, Lina and I plan my study plan, what to do, I have to clean all the block in sem 6 and 7, if not… I CAN! ish jangan fikir bukan-bukan. If the senior say those blocks are like “HELL” then I have to put myself in hell and study like HELL too. WE CAN… I am confidence I can conquer this new system, have to left the old study style, can’t study like before, with the new system, the old one is outdated. Tak boleh pakai. I say this because, the last block, I can say I am proud of myself for the result that I got. Ingat senang ke nak lulus dengan tak dapat C dalam block Neuroscience huh??? Sebab study system berkelompok dan berbincang-bincang dengan my mates, I think I have to do this more.

Owh, after the PBL, we have to wait for 4 hours before the Integrasi. The exam suppose to be held at 4.30 pm, but… ermm it started at 4.45 pm, HELL YES I was tired, my brain can’t function normally and the questions, I did use a lot of bullets. I have to. Respirasi 7 was like 2 years ago, we don’t expect the questions changed to new one. Yes!

Back home, hugged the cats, listen to Big Bang. The disco rhythm somehow sooth me. At least I can forget about certain thing especially you. I am sad.

paperKELIP : Mata, THT, GILUT here I come!

A CALL

WAiting for a call that will never coming, especially today on 10 of March. No incoming call, feel pathetic.

paperKELIP : PK and PBL 7, good luck babe.

CATs

The only thing that keep me happy are my cats. Not him, them or else.

SILLY MISTAKE

(deviantart)

Today is history. Everyday is history. Today my life near the edge. Mengada-ngada.

One silly mistake can change your destiny… ermm can change or lead your day to, bad day. Macam bad hair day gitu, sebab rambut kusut habis hari pon kusut. Disastrous.

Take my experience as a teacher okay adik-adik dan kawan-kawan, today I am suppose to seat an exam (Patologi Klinik 8) and this is the last Short Sem for PK 8, what happen is, I am too “PEDE” (Percaya Diri)/confident that the exam will start at 11 am, unfortunately, I was wrong, the exam suppose to start at 9.20 am. Okay fine, you can laugh, or say I am stupid. That ok, I am stupid enough, not asking other my classmate, and go blindly.

After the hardship and my passion tak kira ribut yang menghalang, ulang-alik dari rumah ke kampus, buat muka kesian kat dosen, kena makan kerepek 40 bakul dengan dosen pengajar, akhirnya aku dapat duduk ujian tu hari jumaat jam 7.30 pagi. Alhamdulillah.

Many thanks to my housemates who are willing to help me, “bikin surat izin” to the dosen. Sayang korang lebih! I hope after this, you will not the silly mistake that I made today, “SALAH TENGOK JADUAL”. This is silly enough and stupid. But yet ALHAMDULILLAH.

paperKELIP : saya tak kesah lah awak.

LOVE… GELI…

Sebelum baca apa yang aku nak update kat dalam post ni. korang wajib baca ini dulu, Kenapa dan bagaimana Kita boleh jatuh cinta dan Don't Love The One Who Love You by Mr. K. Entry dia bagus dan banyak point-point menarik dan dapat buka pandangan sempit aku nih dengan lebih luas.

First, yeah love is just another hormone, Dopamine, Phenylethylamine. Aku belajar dalam farmako pasal reseptor dopamine, ubat-ubat dia jer tak taw plak Dopamine ni hormon cinta, kalau kajian psikiatrik plak, Dopamine terlebih tu orang yang ada gannguan jiwa, skizophrenia bagai. Okay straight to the point, let say you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, sayang gilos lah kat Bf/Gf korang ni kan, sampai tidur tak lena, mandi tak basah whatever lah. Geli aku. And then one day, dia dah macam bosan dengan korang, hurmm love kan is about hormone, makin kurang hormone makin kurang cinta, hey you can’t change that, so “JUST LEAVE” ok, leave dengan cara yang baik, tak perlu gaduh-gaduh. Nanti kalau lama-lama couple orang dah tak sayang kat kita, kita terasa, sakit hati, blah jer. That means, he/she don’t deserve you and you can’t make him/her happy, annoy lagi adalah kan. Tapi kalau tak nak lepaskan dia, dah sayang sangat ni, memang dia lah satu-satunya dalam hidup, cuba tarik hati dia balik, buat dia jatuh cinta dengan anda balik. Lagipun, mestilah dia (esp lelaki) yang confess dulu kan. Tak boleh jugak, solat istikarah yer kawan-kawan, sebab apa yang kita rasa terbaik untuk kita tak semestinya yang terbaik, dan apa yang kita rasa kita tak nak itu lah yang terbaik. Dan tak perlulah nak geli-geli dengan orang yang dah bosan dengan korang ok.

Memang lah nanti korang cakap, senang jer cakap cuba jadi kat diri sendiri. Hurmm bak kata kajian hormon-hormon ni, hormone cinta dah kurang, apa boleh buat, aku pun pernah rasa, dua kali, mungkin kali ke-3 bakal terjadi. Siapa tahu kan. Let say, yang ke-3 terjadi, dia bosan dengan aku sebab aku mengada-ngada, dah tak cute kat mata dia, dah kurang hormon-hormon tu kat aku, well we ain’t married yet babeh, tak salah salah seorang nak walk out dulu, or one day dia confess, dia dah bosan. Aku terima. Okay fine. maybe ada nanges-nanges gak, tapi-tapi ingat ni girls, dia bukan suami, dia hanya persinggahan untuk korang jumpa dengan bakal suami, sebab itu lah korang couple lah dengan 10 orang, 100 orang pon, suami sorang jer. Dan aku tak cakap korang boleh couple then clash sesuka hati. Better ak payah lah couple kalau takut sakit hati lepas clash, kawin jer terus. Aku ni memamg tegar, tiada perasaan sangat, sakit hati kejap pastu lupa, “eh apa ko dah buat kat aku? Lupa lah” aku macam ni.

Actually, korang ni “living in a world of fairytales” lah kalau asyik nak benda-benda indah yang sementara ni, sometimes kena lah jugak hidup dalam dunia “anime/manga” walaupun tak berapa nak reality sangat, at least dalam dunia anime tu dia orang face dengan kesusahan, berusaha itu penting. Bila jatuh bangun balik. Bab-bab cinta ni remeh-temeh jer, jangan amek port sangat, yang penting pengajaran dari kisah cinta tu sendiri. Okay.

Kesimpulannya, kalau yang ke-3 tak menjadi dalam hidup aku, which is hormon ni akan berkurang dan hilang, dia pilih orang lain, aku tunggu je lah orang masuk meminang. See, orang tua suka, aku pon boleh terima. Daripada geli-geli tapi tak membuahkan hasil. Korang pilih yang mana? Three is enough untuk buat aku serik dan dah, aku pon dah malas, jalan mudah tunggu je, kalau takde ‘its okay’ (sambil telan air liur).

paperKELIP : owh GELI dengan entry ni, tapi inilah isi hati aku sekarang. Harap aku dapat praktekkan.

iPOD

Assalamualaikum… Hye everyone…

Zaman era globalisasi sekarang ni mesti korang ada macam-macam gadget yang best-best kan, ipad, itouch, iphone, ipod, blackberry, android, laptop pelbagai fungsi etcetra etcetra bagai. Well dunia zaman sekarang kena maju, kalau tak nanti ketinggalan zaman.

Setakat aku hidup dalam era globalisasi ni, 3 gadget jer yang aku simpan sampai sekarang, ipod nano 5th generation kaler orange, laptop yang dah berjasa 3 tahun dan tak akan aku tukar selagi dia tak mampos dan handset sony ericsson yang aku pakai tak tukar-tukar since aku form five. Setia tak aku. Haha.

ipod nano aku, aku nobatkan dan rate kepentingan dia dalam list “as my number one gadget”, 2nd laptop dan 3rd handset aku. Kenapa ipod nano dan bukan handset no 1? Dan kenapa nano bukan touch or iphone? deyy syukur taw tak. Alasan dia sebab itouch besar gabak, nak masuk dalam pocket seluar tak muat sebab aku sumbat earphone 24 hours dan aku akan pasang ipod nih lebih kurang 18 jam sehari. Time workout aku pasang, jalan kaki kuliah aku pasang, tidur pon aku pasang, study aku pasang (wajib kalau tak ilmu tak masuk). Bayangkan kalau itouch aku bawak time workout, beban, susah lah. Tapi insya-ALLAH ada duit lebih nak beli iPHONE, ganti enset buruk, at least ada iphone boleh main-main game, ada application medic, tak menyusahkan. Owh owh berangan.

Laptop sangat penting sebab takde laptop tak boleh online, I mana ada handset canggih-canggih nak online. Heee~ okay kalau ada handset canggih tapi tiada laptop macam mana nak settlekan PBL yang menyusahkan tu setiap blok kan. So selain dari beronline dengan laptop, ia juga berguna untuk aku siapkan PBL, makalah bagai, nak-nak sem 6 ni dah start ada 2 PBL dalam 1 blok (senior yang cakap), so laptop ni penting. Untuk online, assignment, movie dan main game. Penting, nombor 2 jer sebab laptop aku tak mobile macam ipod, mana ada orang workout pakai laptop, okay fine, kalau buat aerobic tengok laptop. Whatever. Jogging tak bawak laptop.

Handset cikai, no 3 jer, mentang-mentang dia cikai tehah ko kasi 2nd up runner je kat dia. pffttt. Bukan bias, okay apa fungsi handset?  For communication of course, calling and messaging. Right. Tapi, kat Indonesia ni, siapa yang aku nak message-message? Nak Calling-calling? Haram jadah takde sorang pon melainkan ada benda penting. Bak kata aku yang kat atas tadi, era globalisasi babe, YM ada, Facebook, Twitter. Haaa ada medium yang lagi senang nak berkomunikasi, free lagi, apa guna bayar fastnet mahal-mahal tapi tak dimanfaatkan. Okay fine, aku loser sebab takde orang call or message, tunggu samapi berjanggut (which is impossible) pon “orang tu” tak akan message or call. Okay aku loser lah kan, but who cares? I don’t give it a damn pon, well baka kata Mr. K mulut lelaki macam bullshit, haha dia yang  cakap. Actually jimat credit aku sebab boleh aku call abah, mama, adik aku. Hehe. Penting lah jugak handset cikai ni, kalau takde handset ni, internet laju tahap ferrari pon, kalau ayah aku rindu aku, nak dengar suara anak perempuan kesayangan dia, dan internet yang pakai berukband memang macam haram kat Malaysia tu memang tak akan mampulah nak menghubungkan anak dan ayah ni. So handset aku hanya untuk call dan message ahli keluarga aku. Sayang Korang!

Apa-apa pon, memang ipod nano 5th generation kaler orange tu adalah nombor 1. Ini semua hanyalah pendapat aku jer, lain orang lain lain pendapat kan. Peeps~

Enjoy the song… Especially for you :

 

paperKELIP : I WILL NOT. TRY ME…

DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?

Do I have to say it? That I am the happiest person on earth when you call me, text me and chatting with me… Do I?

And do I have to say it that I am the most excited girl when you online?

Do I have to? Napeun namja… Ebabo… mehh..

paperKELIP : I don’t wanna know and I don’t care, but it end up I wanna know and I care. Ironic.

ZAFIRLUKAST

Zafirlukast is a medication for asthma. It’s not a person name so don’t name your son, daughter, niece or nephew with zafirlukast.

GET IT??? This is ZAFIRLUKAST…

paperKELIP : Sebab ak dengar ada orang nak letak nama anak dia dengan Zafirlukast. Hehe.

SEVERE

The damage that I caused is too severe, I don’t have any confident if I can fix it back to normal state. I lost my equilibrium.

paperKELIP : I can’t do it.

LESSON

I learn my lesson tonight… I think I can’t lie to myself anymore, I have to be true, genuine to myself. I can’t stand it when I break his heart, I even can’t watch him to suffer because of me or for what I said. He is so precious and I can’t lie to myself. I can’t lie and pretend like he is nothing to me. I can’t lie to myself that I am REALLY LOVE him. I love you… I wish I can say it out loud so you can hear me. I can’t pretend or lie. I’m not a good liar.

Damn it… All my effort to be as cold as snow, feelingless, are waste of time. With tears I’m writing this so damn post.

paperKELIP : Lukman Nulhakim…